New Hope - July 9, 2011

This was written Friday, July 9, 2011 - following my dr appt. 

New Hope

I have a lot of things to accomplish today, but unfortunately I’ve spent the last two hours sitting around, doing nothing.  My day is wasting away and all because I can’t rid my mind of today’s unsettling news. 

I’m going to keep the frustrating stuff short, because there have been too many other promises revealed since then.   I went to my Dr. this morning to receive the shot I was expecting.  We arrived at 9am, right on time and sat and waited and waited and waited.  I was surprised we actually got to see our Dr.  being that I was just expecting a shot and had brought along my trusty husband so he could learn how to give it at home.  She went over my HcG results which were pretty low, but I am pregnant.  Because of this, she said I’m in the very early stages and doesn’t want to give me the progesterone shot just yet, she wants to wait and see what happens with my second blood draw levels later this morning. 

I felt….frustrated, like I’d just wasted my morning to get frustrating news that you could have told me over the phone.  That I’d built myself up in excitement, saying “Body, just make it till Friday, Friday you’ll get your shot.”  But that’s not what happened.  It upset me, truly.  Deep down, I felt like I was given little hope. 

But here’s what I know.  That result was from Wed.  today is Friday, things have most definitely changed and progressed.  I have no spotting, and I feel more pregnant.  God is not confined to a blood draw.  So,  I called a few friends, I cried a little, I sent some texts.  I prayed.  They prayed.  I’m so thankful that prayer works. 

I went to lunch with my very dear friend.  When I think about all that we’ve been through together, it brings tears to my eyes.  There is nothing like a friend who has seen it all with you and knows exactly how to love you.  Anyway, she gave me a gift.  And what a sacrifice this gift is, but it’s a reminder to me of my promise.  And a reminder of a friendship that goes beyond what man can see but to a bond that has been formed through the great grace of God.  Few people will understand the significance of this exchange but it will forever be another brick in the building of this friendship.  So thank you, dear friend, for reminding me today that my hope is not in man – but my hope is in the Lord. 

After returning home I was vegging on facebook and I read a post from a friend of my mom’s.  It told the story of a family who, after 3 miscarriages this past year, were given the devastating news through ultrasound that the baby they were carrying had died in the womb.  In a follow up appt today, another ultrasound was done and what the Dr. saw on the screen was a healthy, 10 ½ week baby bouncing around. 

Today is a day I need to surround myself in miracles.  I know the statistics, I know my body.  But that is nothing compared to knowing my Lord.  So, today in the midst of what could take me down – I will be up.  God has not given up on my child and neither will I.