How Will They Remember Me?

The other day Doron had an owie on his toe.  It was tiny, but toddler worthy of a bandaid. You know, a toddler can convince you to put a bandaid on a scar...

I scooped my little boy up, wrapped him in my arms, consoled him with all the words of affirmation he was looking for, settled him into the bathroom with a hug, applied neosporin, and lovingly wrapped that bandaid around his toe.  I figured the bandaid would stay on for about 2 minutes but the love he felt from me caring would last all day.

As I did this, I felt like a really good mom.  I thought, this is how I want to be remembered by my kids.  And I thought about all the great memories I have of my mom.  How she would sit in the kitchen and eat grapes and listen to Dr. Dobson every day at 11:30am.  And how on her days off she would fold laundry and bake cookies and meet us at the door with a smile and a hug.  In the summer she would sit on the porch swing and watch us play while drinking iced tea in our plastic blue cups.  She would sit at the piano and play hymns and sing and tell us that she really wasn't that good at playing piano - but she was always better than me.

And that's how I want my kids to remember me.  To have a bank in their mind full of great memories of a mom that loved them and love to be with them.  My mom never had a phone in her hand, because ours was still attached to the wall and other than talking, you couldn't do anything cool with it.  Even now my mom really only uses her phone to talk to people, sometimes text.  We always knew that when mom was talking to us, she was really talking to us.  There was no wondering if she was preoccupied with another conversation on the side.  She wasn't always looking at her phone.  When she helped us with homework she helped us with homework.  When she stayed up until midnight waiting for us to be home by curfew and then chatted for another hour afterwards - she was really present, tired but present.

I want to be present for my kids.

Contrast my vision of awesomeness with a little reality check.  Yesterday morning my adorably grown up seven year old cooked scrambled eggs and pancakes for everyone once again (frozen pancakes, toaster oven reheated).  She said "I'm the mom!" I laughed and questioned "Oh, what am I then?" her reply stung, but you can't get hurt by childhood honesty - she replied "You're the kid that's always on your phone."

And is it true? kind of.  Am I doing something important on my phone?  maybe.  Am I conversing with a friend?  probably.  Do my children know that they are still the most important thing in my life?  I don't think so.  Not when my phone is always around.  Not when I don't look at them while they are talking to me.  Not when they don't know what I'm doing on my phone, but it must be important since I'm always looking at it.

Hmmmm, do I need to throw my phone away?  No.  But when I sit down and have a big long talk with my girls about active listening, I have to ask myself  'Am I actively listening to others?  Or have my children gained their poor listening and poor communication skills from a lifetime of watching me?'

Food for thought tonight.  It is pretty funny how a year and a half ago, before I got my first smart phone, this never would have even been an issue.  My phone had no value then other than talking and reading a text here and there.

Now, I have to learn how to break all of the bad habits - and protect my family.

FULLY FUNDED and the joy of the Lord

The only reason I'm still up and blogging right now is because I told Z she had to go to sleep.  Which means that I didn't rock her to sleep and lay her in bed and quietly sneak out for the first time in 2 (almost 3) years.  She rolled over and pretended to go to sleep but my guess is that in about 15 minutes Crazy Legs (as I often times call her at night since those legs never seem to stop moving) will probably be up and wandering around soon.  That gives me 15 minutes to shoot out our latest adoption update and a few other random thoughts that have been circling my mind lately.

Adoption News:

The biggest news of all is that our adoption is FULLY FUNDED!!!!!!  Last year when we started this process we had full confidence that God was going to provide every single cent we needed for our adoption.  Along the way he has provided everything we needed exactly when we needed it.  But here at the end, it has seemed overwhelming to learn how to trust God and let go of our security net.  Two weeks ago we purchased our airline tickets on our credit card.  We had part of the funds to cover them, not all.  Over the weekend we received a donation to cover our airline tickets and most of our travel expenses.  Today we were able to cover our in-country expenses.  God is never slow, he is always on time. 

As we have gone through this process we have been met along the way by friends and family who have been so incredibly generous.  Some of you with your time, some of you with your abilities, some of you with your finances.  It has not ceased to amaze me in these past months just how much love we are surrounded by. We are not alone, we have a huge village supporting us. 

Winter Jam concert is coming up on Sunday evening, and although we won't be going I love thinking about the role a Winter Jam concert played in our story.  It was about 5 years ago that my husband went to a Winter Jam concert and came home with a sponsor child for our family.  He said that he just knew it was what we were supposed to do.  This concert introduced us to a great agency and our first sponsor child who has since graduated from sponsorship but who we think of and pray for often.  The next child assigned to us was a little boy from China, because of his sponsorship our eyes were opened to Foster Care in China and also the possibility of adopting from China someday.  Here we are, having planned our trip to China to go and pick up our little boy.  He isn't the little boy we sponsored for awhile but he is a little boy living in a foster care family in China.  As I was thinking about this I thought about his foster family and how much they mean to us.  Then I wondered, is there a family sponsoring our son?  So many people working together to care for our son.  I am so grateful for all of them, pouring our their love on him. 

It is strange to see how we grow and change and develop as we age.  I know I'm not even close to nearing the end of this growing and changing... it will continue as long as I continue.  Sometimes in the midst of all that is going on in our lives I have to remind myself to not be weighed down by all the responsibilities I have on me.  The last few weeks have been more stressful than usual.  It has seemed overwhelming at times.  Our house has not stayed "together", and I have found myself dwelling on the frustrating and the overwhelming. 

It has felt at times like the weight of years of loss and pain, and then having a second baby and post partum depression, and then heading into all that goes into preparing to adopt - at times I felt like I've lost my fun.  I have a good friend who is always fun.  The joy of the Lord is in her, and she lives a life of faithfulness to him.  Even when she is overwhelmed or burdened, or sick, or in a difficult circumstance - she is joyful, encouraging, and full of life.  I have thought, momentarily and at times, that if only she were still here (in Iowa) I would be fun again.  But I have to remember where my joy comes from; not from a friend who clings to the promises of God. No, her joy and my joy have to come from God; from clinging to his promises myself. 

I don't want to be old and crochety (you can be crochety at 30).  I want to be full of life, vibrant, radiating Holy Spirit and him living in me. 

Incredibly so, I have come to the end of this and our little Z is still in her own bed!  After a week of fitful nights, I may be able to sleep all night tonight!  Good night my friends, and may God bless you and give you joy.

Love,
Brie

Finish Strong

It's time for the traditional blogger New Year post!  And in true "Brie" fashion, I am only 6 days late!

Last year at the new year we were really confused.  We had excitedly started the adoption process and then thrown a curveball with an unexpected pregnancy that ended quickly in our 8th miscarriage.  We spent the holidays trying to decide what to do when January came, and when that happened - we were no closer to knowing what to do.  My husband entered 21 days of prayer and fasting, and by the end, we were still without a solid "answer".  So with trepidation, and knowing God would lead our steps, we decided to return to the domestic adoption process, and as quickly as we tried to restart, God closed the door.  It was exactly what we needed, an answer.

In early March we submitted our application to begin adopting from China, by June we had completed all the initial paperwork and classes and were starting our homestudy.  Our summer was crazy, but by August we had completed our homestudy and were working on our dossier.  It was the middle of September when an email of special focus children brought our son to our eyes and he stole our hearts.  We were matched, sent our LOI and had our dossier to China by the end of October, and then we waited.

I had prayed so desperately that we would recieve our LOA for Christmas, but I knew 2-4 mo from DTC (Dossier to China) was Dec 31.  And on December 29 while trying to get Z out of the trunk of the van, my phone rang our LOA had arrived! There it was, our Christmas gift!

Now here we are, January of a new year, so different from last January.  We can see the finish line, but we haven't reached it yet.  It reminds me of running with my good friends Susan and Leisha.  At the end of every run when I can see where we finish I usually sprint to the end and proudly exclaim "I won!" (Which is a matter of joking between us because they usually have slowed their pace significantly for me to be able to run with them).  But it is how I finish every race I run, with a sprint because inside I want to be like "oh okay, we made it to the end, I'm done now."  But I haven't actually made it to the end.  Sort of like the tortoise and the hare, start out strong and piddle out in the end.

Here we are, sprinting to bring home Doron, only this race - we can't piddle out on.  This race we have to finish because our son lays in the balance.

I'm praying that this sets a presedence for me this year.  I want to finish the goals and tasks I set before myself.  Ambition gets you started but its dedication and perseverance that help you finish and finish strong.

May this be a year of beautiful beginnings and well run races for you as well!

Hebrews 12:1-2New International Version (NIV)

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

 

Remembering

July is when Aaron and I remember four anniversaries of miscarriages from the past 8 years.  Half of our miscarriages have occurred in July, it has no longer become dates for us, but throughout the whole month it rests in the back of our minds.  Our first miscarriage occurred on July 20, 2006.

I know I've written often about our miscarriages and our anniversaries.  We are now 8 months from our last miscarriage, so for us it feels strange.  8 months doesn't seem like long, but when you are back to back miscarriage to pregnancy - infertility to miscarriage - pregnancy to miscarriage - adoption to pregnancy - miscarriage to adoption, you feel like you're on a roller coaster.

Right now we are in the early stages of our adoption.  It feels a lot like being at the end of your first trimester, you are finally ready to accept this pregnancy and believe this baby is really going to come home.  You still have a long way to go, your ultrasound is still months away, but you are excited.  Meeting your baby someday seems real.

So to be remembering these anniversaries while being in a strange state of "pregnancy" leaves me feeling surreal about them all.  Like I can look back and say, "Wow, God - look what you did and look where you are taking us!"

I love this song by Matt Redman:

Never Once

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

The words echo exactly what my heart feels, like we are standing on a mountaintop, looking back on all that we went through or that we're kneeling on the battleground, remembering the war that was fought and all that our hearts experienced.  I feel like we can look at our hearts and see our own scars and our muscles bear the strength of the struggle. But through it all - and I've always said this - never once did we not feel God's love, his faithfulness, his strength carrying us through it all.

I remember pregnant with Zemirah, just weeks after our 6th miscarriage, reading and owning 

2 Timothy 2:13 "If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself."  

I felt so faithless, I had no confidence that that pregnancy would bring me a baby in my arms.  I knew God was good, I knew he was faithful and I knew that when I went through another miscarriage I would survive.  I am thankful that God had different plans for the little life growing inside of me.  

This July we remember the lives of our little ones in heaven.  Amariss speaks often and openly about her brothers and sisters in heaven.  Their lives hold value to her and to us.  They are a part of our family and someday we will meet them, hold them, and pour on them all the love we have missed.  

I am so thankful that this July we celebrate all of our children;

Baby K, Tiny, Itty Bitty, Amariss, Cinco, Woven, Bunnin, Zemirah, Isaiah, Little One, and our soon to be Baby Boy.  

Amariss found and loved on a baby blue jay yesterday.

Zemirah danced and praised Jesus with me this morning.

The Strawberry Patch

I spent some time pulling weeds in the strawberry patch this morning.  The clouds were threatening rain but other than a few stray drops, we enjoyed the sounds and smells of spring.  I always feel that there are so many lessons to be learned when you are gardening.  Beyond the obvious lessons of what to and not do while gardening, there are the life lessons placed by God in the soil, the plants, the creatures.  It amazes me.

This year we really don't have the time to do a big garden.  I bought a few tomato & pepper plants, but other than that I'm just maintaining the strawberries, hoping the rabbits don't eat them before we get our fence up.

Our strawberry patch was looking rather neglected and when I started out this morning with my nearly 2 year old and my spade, my intent was really just to dig up the huge dandelions that were stifling their growth. But out there with what were the big huge obvious weeds, was also lots and lots of crab grass.

The interesting thing about crab grass is that it really doesn't look that bad.  Afterall, it's just grass.  Kind of pretty if you think about it.  But crab grass is sneaky, you might have 1 shoot of grass sticking up, and you go to pull it and it is stuck tight in the ground.  Crab grass sends shooters underneath the surface of the soil, pulling it is an often futile effort, rarely can you actually pull out the roots.  It was for this very reason that I hadn't bothered with it for awhile.  It's a lot of work to pull up crab grass!

But when I got to the strawberry patch I could see that what I thought was harmless grass growing, was really a monster and in the patches where it was heaviest there were hardly any strawberry plants growing.  So I got pulling, and while I pulled I thought (which is why I love gardening so much!).

Remember the parable of the weeds and the seeds?  There are a couple of them, here is the one I'm referring to:

Matthew 13:1-9

13 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 2 Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. 3 Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

"Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants."  My crab grass isn't exactly thorns, or even as menacing as dandelions, to the human eye.  But as I was sitting there, pulling and pulling, and my fingers were getting a little raw, I thought about how often it isn't the GIANT sins that keep us from growing as Christians.  It isn't the blatantly obvious weeds in our lives that impair our ability to produce fruit.  A lot of times it is the little things that take a little root and send a shooter under the surface.  No one can see the intricate web of  destruction tearing at our hearts beneath our facade.  Our sin might not be that bad, it might even look a little pretty - but underneath, when we let it grow out of control it will take over our lives, choke out the good in us and prevent us from growing fruit.  Prevent us from living out the fruit of the Spirit in our lives.  Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control - Galatians 5:22-25.

What are the things in your life that our choking out your fruit?  And how can you start pulling these weeds today?  If you never start, they'll only continue to take over your strawberry patch.  

Isaiah, we remember you.

It's hard to believe where we were just a year ago.  The weather was certainly nicer than it has been, but the weather isn't really what's on my mind.  It was a year ago that I woke up early in the morning to cramping in a regular pattern.  The cramps became more and more intense: paralyzed by pain, my mind couldn't comprehend what was really happening, while my husband prayed for a miracle.

Isaiah, we met you too soon.  You're not just a number in a line-up of recurrent miscarriages for us.  You're a God-given reminder of life given and life taken away.  You put life to the lives of those like you that have been lost.  You put a face and a name to children whose faces and names have not yet been seen or heard.

We have survived, although I wasn't sure I could.  We have recovered, but will never forget.

As we move on to the next phase and stage of our lives, we see reminders of you everywhere we go.  Spring brings blossoms of bleeding hearts just over where your body rests.  A small statue will be placed outside soon, to mark where we laid our eyes upon you one last time.  Oh little boy, you were wanted.  You were cherished.  We live full, happy lives here, but yearn for the days when we are a complete family; when in heaven there are no more tears, no more sadness; where we see all of our children, completely whole.

It is hard to believe, with where we are now, that it has only been one year since we felt so much pain.  It was so difficult for me to imagine being the same again.  It was difficult for me to imagine not saying your name every day.  Darling, I still think of you, nearly every day.  I still miss you, nearly every day.  My days and life are full, but you are still missing.

I am happy, I am joyful, but I will never not miss having you in my life.

11 weeks gestation

Learning To Let God Lead

I was driving into town last week and I heard this song on the radio.  I believe it hit me, quite hard it felt, that for a long time I have been trying to write my own story.  This is probably the reason that I find people that have what I want, a knowledge of what their future holds, and I'm jealous of them.  Even more jealous if they have that knowledge and are pursuing their passion, and it's something (I think) I want for my life also, but am not sure if that is the direction in which I am headed.

Am I rambling?  Does that make sense?  In my book study last spring, Unglued by Lisa Turkhurst, there was a whole chapter on jealousy.  That chapter was like a cold bucket of water over my head.  Yikes!  That was one of the first times I have really taken on the knowledge that I fight jealousy.  It's a companion I need to learn how to shake, and hopefully I am learning how to shake.  I tried bottling it up, and putting on a happy smiley face, but no, that just makes me stew and become bitter.  I thought that maybe telling people when I was jealous of them would help me shake it, but no, that just makes me look (and feel) like an idiot.

Ah, I see, jealousy is from the evil one, the one who wants me to look like an idiot, push people away, and become angry and bitter.

In life, there are a thousand different reasons to be jealous.  Someone always has it better, there is always something to be desired.  Whether it be a job, a family, a dream - someone always has something you could want, or desire.

When I look back at my adult life I can see that God has taken me on an interesting journey.  One I never would have imagined 10 years ago, when I was a young college student, engaged to be married and living with my neighbors, studying for a degree I (kind of) intended to use, in a field I (kind of) enjoyed.  To be honest, it was the grace of God that led me to that degree, the one that opened doors and got me on my start to being a childbirth educator and later birth doula. I love what I do. I couldn't imagine loving any other job (outside of my role as a mom) more.

I never once imagined I'd be the woman I am today, with the passions I have today.  I never once imagined that I would homeschool, or care about red dye and high fructose corn syrup (seriously, I love fruit snacks and twinkies - er, I did... okay, I do still love fruit snacks), or be passionate about natural childbirth, or passionate about natural anything (again, the girl who popped ibuprofen in high school like it was candy and thought McDonalds could pass as a healthy meal).  I never once imagined that we would have miscarriage after miscarriage and wonder how many children we would have.  I also never once imagined that I would doubt myself or that I wouldn't know what the next step would be.

And that's where I am.  I don't know what the rest of the story is, and often times I try so hard to write it for God only to find myself more confused and frustrated than before.  But I forget, he has written it thus far; He has opened doors, presented opportunities, and shaped me and molded me along the way, all in his timing, for his purposes.  

So I think listening to this song this week has been a good reminder to me to stop playing with God's pen.  A reminder to be fully invested in the current life God has called me to lead and when the time is right, he will guide me to the next step, whatever that may be.  We are all on different paths, because we are all different people.  Some of us are called to take similar journeys, but no journey is ever identical to or better than someone else's.

A journey is a journey, and I will let God lead mine.

**This post was written late at night, after reviewing it this morning I would like to add that I am not insanely jealous as the piece might suggest. But I do believe that I struggle with jealousy just like anyone else. I am not focusing this post directed at any specific person or event, it is just general reflection.**

*This post has been edited*

Step-by-step...

I knew I would blog this week, there is so much to say, but I haven't known how to say it.

Really, there hasn't been a whole lot to report.  I made a surprise trip to Arkansas two weekends ago to surprise my mom for her birthday!  (and if I was really great at taking pictures I'd have some for you, but wrangling two kids by myself for a 12 hr drive was enough).

On our way to Arkansas we got the news that our application had been accepted by the agency and we were ready to move on with the next step!  That step was signing a lot of paperwork...

Officially, the paperwork has been signed and mailed, and according to the United States Postal Service should arrive at our agency's head office on Thursday.  Woohoo!

I really feel God's hand in all of this.  Down to every last tiny, seemingly unimportant detail like our paperwork arriving on Thursday, November 21.

A little over 6 months ago we miscarried a little boy, Isaiah.  Many of you have seen our posts and have shown us so much support.  Amazingly, our hearts have healed so well from this loss, which I know is nothing short of God's divine goodness.  We were blessed to have a memorial service for him, and because of this, his loss helped bring closure to us from 7 years of miscarriages.

We had begun looking into adoption in January of this year, long before we knew we were expecting.  With our pregnancy we put adoption off to the side for awhile.  When we lost Isaiah, and were ready to pursue adoption again, I knew I would not be fully ready until we had passed and mourned his due date.  This Wednesday, November 20, is Isaiah's due date.

He sees us, he hears us.  He knows exactly who we are, and where we are in our journey.  God does not take a single thing for granted.  

Sunday, one of our pastor's reminded us that "Our God takes impossibilities and makes them possibilities."  That is so true.  From step one he has taken what seems impossible to us and opened a door and made it a possibility.  He has closed doors that we may have wanted to step through, knowing it wasn't the right plan for us.  We are completely trusting Him as we take one more step toward our possibility.

Today we also remember our 2nd miscarriage.  Our little baby, Tiny, was miscarried on November 18, 2006.  Sometimes I wonder when I will stop remembering these anniversaries, but my heart feels that as long as we live, we won't.  These little ones, a part of our lives for an incredibly too short amount of time, are a part of us.  We lost Tiny while at a FamilyLife Marriage Conference, we were a little over 6 weeks along.

So, this week is strangely bittersweet.  We mourn a lot of loss but look forward with tempered anticipation for all that is to come.

The Garage Sale

Our first adoption fundraiser was last Saturday!  We had a garage sale to help raise funds and it was so exciting.  My very good friends spent Wednesday and Thursday at my mother-in-laws house tagging/organizing/sorting all in preparation for Friday afternoon and Saturday.  And my mother-in-law deserves a medal of honor for watching my kids AND my friends' kids all day Wednesday and Thursday!!

There were so many generous friends who donated so much to this sale!  There is no way we would have done so well without all of you!  We had a full garage and full driveway with everything from nearly every size of children's clothing, to toys, to maternity clothes, to housewares, to a huge toolbox and fencing!

It was amazing.  

Everything did not sell :( but we are going to pack everything back up and try again for the spring city-wide!  We might have a baby by then (who knows?) but even if we do, we will still be paying for this adoption, so all the funds will still go towards our adoption fund.  

Step-By-Steppin' It

Last week I had about 1000 things to do and my time was limited, not to mention my strength and emotional capacity.  For the past 4 months I have been tired and tired... sometimes sick, but mostly really tired and I have finally (hallelujah, praise the Lord) entered into the 2nd trimester bliss of energy, feeling good and (thanks to my midwife) no more hip pain!  I was definately ready to conquer. 

I'm one of those people who when they say they just sleep and eat... that's exactly what they mean and my house was proof.  Literally, every few weeks I would catch up on all the bills I hadn't yet paid and wash enough laundry for us to live off the pile on the couch.  My kitchen was a situation of dire concern.  We were literally washing a dish just to use a dish.  It was bad.  B-A-D  I was even going to post pictures of the before and after but then was afraid someone might report me to some bad housekeeping agency, or deem my house unfit for human survival...

However, Monday I woke up with a renewed energy.  My mother-in-laws birthday was Thursday and I knew I wanted my house fully clean for her to come over for cake and her present.  I was meeting with a friend Friday morning and more friends on Friday night.  So I had, essentially, until Thursday afternoon to finish getting my house cleaned.  Super cleaned because it was really bad.  I also have a near 4 yr old (near as in her birthday is this week) which makes full out cleaning a little difficult. 

So I started what I call The Step-By-Step.  It helps people like me who look at a hugely messy house and just friek out and then crawl back under the covers to go to bed.  I started small, with easy things.  A load of laundry, unload the dishwasher, load the dishwasher.  Clean the toilet, oh look I'll clean the sink and mirror too.  And that's how I do it, when I finish one job I look for another to start.  All I do is my one job.

Step-by-Step. 

And what happened.  By Monday night, when my husband came home, a significant dent had been placed in our kitchen.  It wasn't finished, not by far, but he could see that I'd worked at it and I was proud of myself! 

Tuesday I did it again.  I just kept plugging away, looking for things to do (and believe me, there were plenty of things to do!).  I tried to stay away from time-wasters, which for me includes facebook, because I get lost in it. 

Wednesday I had groceries to buy and babysat for a friend.

And by Thursday evening my laundry was folded and put away, my dishes were done, my bathroom was clean and although not everything sparkled...  I was proud of myself. 

But what am I more proud of now??

The fact that it is Monday morning and my dishes are staying done!  My laundry is being folded and put away right away and my house still looks decent.  Although, a good dusting is in order and that kitchen floor calls my name. 

I am excited.  Tomorrow night is my daughter's 4th birthday party and I'm not stressed at all!  Friday night we celebrate Christmas with my mother-in-law and I'm looking forward to it!  And Saturday we have a nice break for awhile and I'm entering Christmas the way I like to - looking forward to Christmas! 

That is the Step-by-Step.  One job at a time and before you know it, each job is done.