This was a difficult week. I find it incredibly frustrating that you can have 5 great days and 1 rough one and it feels like you are ready to throw in the towel and that it takes 3 more days to pull yourself out of the rut. It is easy to forget all the good when you are knee deep in muck.
I took today as a rejuvenation day. I didn't worry about the laundry or the dishes, or the miriad of responsibilities I sometimes fail. Today was about enjoying the day and enjoying my kids. We started with crafts outside working with different mediums. We made pictures from pencil, marker, beads, and construction paper. (I don't have pictures because I was making pictures too! When I am trying to operate a camera I spend too much time trying to capture the perfect picture and not enough time experiencing life with my children. A picture or two that captures moments similar to these will spark a lifetime of memories.)
After crafting and playing and messes and a lunch only one child enjoyed... The littles were down for naps, the big was settled with a book. I had about 20 minutes to get half of a project finished and D woke up. Every once in awhile he'll take a great nap, usually I can bank on 45min-1hr followed by 30-40 minutes of hysterical crying. I don't know what it is that wakes him up, or what it is that makes him scream for so long but I wish I did. It is his hard time of day. After the crying ends there is cuddling, rocking, or strollering for another 30 minutes... and then he is ready for a snack. By then Z wakes up... I haven't yet been able to accomplish anything during naptime. And it has become quite clear that we won't be able to use naptime for school time anymore. Although I am presuming the we could possibly still do most of our work in the morning and allow naptime for seatwork...
I am being completely honest when I say that I am nervous about home schooling this year. Kind of like when we first started with Kindergarten and I had a one year old. I just took the plunge and said if it was terrible I could send her at semester to public school. We made it through Kindergarten, and thoroughly enjoyed First Grade. And here we are entering Second, and another new one in the home and the question looms - 'How am I going to do this??' But, we will jump in with both feet and give it a go. My guess is, we'll figure this out too.
After all of our littles were awake today we played with cornstarch and water, a non-Newtonian fluid. Aaron and I were sitting outside with two littles and a big playing with cornstarch and water, throwing it on the concrete and picking it up to see it liquify again... It was so much fun. Again, no pictures. I love participating! I love getting messy and having a good time!
I think that we'll be okay with homeschooling this year as long as I stop caring about absolutely everything else. Anyone want to spend their days doing my laundry and dishes?
Showing posts with label Not so Put Together Truths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Not so Put Together Truths. Show all posts
7.15.2015
In this season....
I struggle so much in this life with doing big, being big. I want to be that person whose ministry is making a difference. I want to make a difference. But these days all I can do is just live. To make it through this day. I can't even organize my thoughts as to what I would do to make a difference, there are just too many needs. And how could I make a difference? I am just one person with no extra time. Actually, I am representative of 5 people with no extra time. (And I just spilled milk on my jeans.) I have to remind myself regularly that I cannot do all things. I must do what I can do; well. Raising my kids. Supporting my husband. Fulfilling our call to expand our family through adoption. Homeschooling. Youth ministry. There it is; my plate is full. I can do those things well right now, with God's help.
I wrote in my daughter's journal this morning that we go through seasons of our lives. There is a season for working, volunteering, creating, but this season right here is for loving and raising these babies. And that is a good thing. It isn't an easy season, it's the kind that earns you time alone when your husband gets home from work because you called him near tears with both toddlers screaming at you; demanding all of you at the exact same time. It is the kind of season that breeds lots of laughter and silly faces and funny games. It is the season when you teach a two year old and a three year old that they have to share, and you teach a seven year old just how valuable and important she is even though her world is overrun with irrational siblings. It is the kind of season when you laugh and you cry; when you change more poopy diapers than you ever thought possible in a 2 hr time span. It is a hard and wonderful season and it may not feel like I'm doing anything big or changing the world, but I am changing their world so that they can do
big too.
I am in a season of multiplication and it is hard but good. Someday, someday... Someday there will be time for sitting and painting and praying and changing the lives of others outside of this tight knit little circle I live in, but not quite yet. A reminder from my devotions today Luke 16:10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”
I can be faithful with these littles right now.
1.06.2015
Finish Strong
It's time for the traditional blogger New Year post! And in true "Brie" fashion, I am only 6 days late!
Last year at the new year we were really confused. We had excitedly started the adoption process and then thrown a curveball with an unexpected pregnancy that ended quickly in our 8th miscarriage. We spent the holidays trying to decide what to do when January came, and when that happened - we were no closer to knowing what to do. My husband entered 21 days of prayer and fasting, and by the end, we were still without a solid "answer". So with trepidation, and knowing God would lead our steps, we decided to return to the domestic adoption process, and as quickly as we tried to restart, God closed the door. It was exactly what we needed, an answer.
In early March we submitted our application to begin adopting from China, by June we had completed all the initial paperwork and classes and were starting our homestudy. Our summer was crazy, but by August we had completed our homestudy and were working on our dossier. It was the middle of September when an email of special focus children brought our son to our eyes and he stole our hearts. We were matched, sent our LOI and had our dossier to China by the end of October, and then we waited.
I had prayed so desperately that we would recieve our LOA for Christmas, but I knew 2-4 mo from DTC (Dossier to China) was Dec 31. And on December 29 while trying to get Z out of the trunk of the van, my phone rang our LOA had arrived! There it was, our Christmas gift!
Now here we are, January of a new year, so different from last January. We can see the finish line, but we haven't reached it yet. It reminds me of running with my good friends Susan and Leisha. At the end of every run when I can see where we finish I usually sprint to the end and proudly exclaim "I won!" (Which is a matter of joking between us because they usually have slowed their pace significantly for me to be able to run with them). But it is how I finish every race I run, with a sprint because inside I want to be like "oh okay, we made it to the end, I'm done now." But I haven't actually made it to the end. Sort of like the tortoise and the hare, start out strong and piddle out in the end.
Here we are, sprinting to bring home Doron, only this race - we can't piddle out on. This race we have to finish because our son lays in the balance.
I'm praying that this sets a presedence for me this year. I want to finish the goals and tasks I set before myself. Ambition gets you started but its dedication and perseverance that help you finish and finish strong.
May this be a year of beautiful beginnings and well run races for you as well!
Last year at the new year we were really confused. We had excitedly started the adoption process and then thrown a curveball with an unexpected pregnancy that ended quickly in our 8th miscarriage. We spent the holidays trying to decide what to do when January came, and when that happened - we were no closer to knowing what to do. My husband entered 21 days of prayer and fasting, and by the end, we were still without a solid "answer". So with trepidation, and knowing God would lead our steps, we decided to return to the domestic adoption process, and as quickly as we tried to restart, God closed the door. It was exactly what we needed, an answer.
In early March we submitted our application to begin adopting from China, by June we had completed all the initial paperwork and classes and were starting our homestudy. Our summer was crazy, but by August we had completed our homestudy and were working on our dossier. It was the middle of September when an email of special focus children brought our son to our eyes and he stole our hearts. We were matched, sent our LOI and had our dossier to China by the end of October, and then we waited.
I had prayed so desperately that we would recieve our LOA for Christmas, but I knew 2-4 mo from DTC (Dossier to China) was Dec 31. And on December 29 while trying to get Z out of the trunk of the van, my phone rang our LOA had arrived! There it was, our Christmas gift!
Now here we are, January of a new year, so different from last January. We can see the finish line, but we haven't reached it yet. It reminds me of running with my good friends Susan and Leisha. At the end of every run when I can see where we finish I usually sprint to the end and proudly exclaim "I won!" (Which is a matter of joking between us because they usually have slowed their pace significantly for me to be able to run with them). But it is how I finish every race I run, with a sprint because inside I want to be like "oh okay, we made it to the end, I'm done now." But I haven't actually made it to the end. Sort of like the tortoise and the hare, start out strong and piddle out in the end.
Here we are, sprinting to bring home Doron, only this race - we can't piddle out on. This race we have to finish because our son lays in the balance.
I'm praying that this sets a presedence for me this year. I want to finish the goals and tasks I set before myself. Ambition gets you started but its dedication and perseverance that help you finish and finish strong.
May this be a year of beautiful beginnings and well run races for you as well!
Hebrews 12:1-2New International Version (NIV)
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
12.13.2014
Crabby Pants
I have been a crabby pants all week. (My husband likes to follow this statement up with something about a "crappy pants". If you know him; this comes as no suprise, I'm sure.)
I thought the week would be great, last week was so hectic and busy that this week was bound to be fantastic. But the cold virus (that we've been battling in a horrible cycle for 2 months) found our two year old and took her down with great force. First with an ugly case of viral conjunctivitis, followed by not much sleeping and the inability to nap unless being held by her mother. This should help you to understand the crabby pants.
In light of the crabby pants, I feel I should share a few lessons from this week.
Lesson #1: Jamberry nails are not as easy as they make them sound.
I bought some Jamberry's for my girls for their stockings this year. I was so excited, since I have been wanting to try Jamberry for awhile. When you buy 3 you get 1 free, so of course when they came I decided to try my free pair. Round 1 was a major fail. Apparently when heating the sticker thing before applying, you don't heat the adhesive side... that's a really bad idea as it drys out the adhesive. Round 2 was okay... and Round 3 worked out fairly well. My theory is that they give you the free pair because they know you're totally going to screw it up the first 3 times.
Lesson #2: Having a child with pink eye makes outings challenging. (as in you can't have any)
Nobody wants your kid's pink eye, even though its a relatively mild and simple disease. It's actually less horrible than a bad cold, but if you have pink eye you have the plague. Nobody wants to be around you or your kid. So, think about drive through restaraunts and hiring a teenager to watch your child so you can take your test at church. You know.. those things. But it is so very cute to hear a two year old say "I have a pink eye!"
Lesson #3: Studying for a final doesn't mean it's going to be easy.
We took our finals for our class at church on Wednesday night this week, and even though we studied, and I was pretty sure I was going to rock that test. It wasn't easy. I didn't rock that test.
Lesson #4: When planning for a ballet rehearsal, or recital, or Christmas play dress rehearsal - don't let the stress get to you.
I am a perfectionist. (May come as a legit surprise to many of you) But I really like to have my ducks in a row and to be honest... my ducks are so far out of their rows right now they're not even in the same pond. So when recitals and performances come, my perfectionism FREAKS. Like "You are not allowed to talk while I do your hair because it breaks my concentration" freak. Poor kid. (Aren't you glad I'm not YOUR parent??) Anywho - I seem to notice that the other parents just.don't.care that much. Why is this? Didn't they read the note? And when they see they did it wrong, they still don't care. I want to be like them. This is something I have to learn. How do I just not care so much?
Lesson #5: Some people are just not very nice.
We encountered on Friday a woman who thought she would take it upon herself to correct my child for doing something wrong. Problem is; I was right there. My child wasn't doing anything wrong. I was taking care of the non-situation. Mama Bear reared her head in protection and defense of her child. My child was genuinely embarrased by the situation. And I am still trying to figure out whether I handled it correctly or what I should have done differently. It took me a solid 24 hours to cool down. And I came to the realization that parenting is really hard. I've talked the situation through with my child, and she is okay, but sadly I am not. And I think I can remember this happening when I was a kid. That my mom had those times when she just wanted to defend and protect us, and when someone else does that damage, beyond making sure our child is okay - you can't really undo the damage. It's really hard. I'm really sad that people don't know their boundaries or what is an appropriate and inappropriate way of speaking to a child (or anyone for that matter).
Lesson #6: I need to give myself more grace for weeks like this one.
It was a big week, a lot happened. Next week is destined to be bigger as we get closer to Christmas. I'm going to need a lot of sleep and a lot of patience. Thankfully we are starting to get over our colds, hopefully we can keep them away for the next few months. And with a little more grace, and a lot more patience, and hopefully some good sleep - next week will be better than this week.
On the adoption front, we are in the painful process of waiting. This is all normal, what we were told to expect, but it doesn't make these days seem any faster. It is especially difficult as we know our little one is living without a family and we are here celebrating with our family, just one short. Please pray for our son this Christmas. We would love to hear news very soon that we will be bringing him home in a few months. Pray for us too as we prepare our home and our family to bring him here to us.
I thought the week would be great, last week was so hectic and busy that this week was bound to be fantastic. But the cold virus (that we've been battling in a horrible cycle for 2 months) found our two year old and took her down with great force. First with an ugly case of viral conjunctivitis, followed by not much sleeping and the inability to nap unless being held by her mother. This should help you to understand the crabby pants.
In light of the crabby pants, I feel I should share a few lessons from this week.
Lesson #1: Jamberry nails are not as easy as they make them sound.
I bought some Jamberry's for my girls for their stockings this year. I was so excited, since I have been wanting to try Jamberry for awhile. When you buy 3 you get 1 free, so of course when they came I decided to try my free pair. Round 1 was a major fail. Apparently when heating the sticker thing before applying, you don't heat the adhesive side... that's a really bad idea as it drys out the adhesive. Round 2 was okay... and Round 3 worked out fairly well. My theory is that they give you the free pair because they know you're totally going to screw it up the first 3 times.
Lesson #2: Having a child with pink eye makes outings challenging. (as in you can't have any)
Nobody wants your kid's pink eye, even though its a relatively mild and simple disease. It's actually less horrible than a bad cold, but if you have pink eye you have the plague. Nobody wants to be around you or your kid. So, think about drive through restaraunts and hiring a teenager to watch your child so you can take your test at church. You know.. those things. But it is so very cute to hear a two year old say "I have a pink eye!"
Lesson #3: Studying for a final doesn't mean it's going to be easy.
We took our finals for our class at church on Wednesday night this week, and even though we studied, and I was pretty sure I was going to rock that test. It wasn't easy. I didn't rock that test.
Lesson #4: When planning for a ballet rehearsal, or recital, or Christmas play dress rehearsal - don't let the stress get to you.
I am a perfectionist. (May come as a legit surprise to many of you) But I really like to have my ducks in a row and to be honest... my ducks are so far out of their rows right now they're not even in the same pond. So when recitals and performances come, my perfectionism FREAKS. Like "You are not allowed to talk while I do your hair because it breaks my concentration" freak. Poor kid. (Aren't you glad I'm not YOUR parent??) Anywho - I seem to notice that the other parents just.don't.care that much. Why is this? Didn't they read the note? And when they see they did it wrong, they still don't care. I want to be like them. This is something I have to learn. How do I just not care so much?
Lesson #5: Some people are just not very nice.
We encountered on Friday a woman who thought she would take it upon herself to correct my child for doing something wrong. Problem is; I was right there. My child wasn't doing anything wrong. I was taking care of the non-situation. Mama Bear reared her head in protection and defense of her child. My child was genuinely embarrased by the situation. And I am still trying to figure out whether I handled it correctly or what I should have done differently. It took me a solid 24 hours to cool down. And I came to the realization that parenting is really hard. I've talked the situation through with my child, and she is okay, but sadly I am not. And I think I can remember this happening when I was a kid. That my mom had those times when she just wanted to defend and protect us, and when someone else does that damage, beyond making sure our child is okay - you can't really undo the damage. It's really hard. I'm really sad that people don't know their boundaries or what is an appropriate and inappropriate way of speaking to a child (or anyone for that matter).
Lesson #6: I need to give myself more grace for weeks like this one.
It was a big week, a lot happened. Next week is destined to be bigger as we get closer to Christmas. I'm going to need a lot of sleep and a lot of patience. Thankfully we are starting to get over our colds, hopefully we can keep them away for the next few months. And with a little more grace, and a lot more patience, and hopefully some good sleep - next week will be better than this week.
On the adoption front, we are in the painful process of waiting. This is all normal, what we were told to expect, but it doesn't make these days seem any faster. It is especially difficult as we know our little one is living without a family and we are here celebrating with our family, just one short. Please pray for our son this Christmas. We would love to hear news very soon that we will be bringing him home in a few months. Pray for us too as we prepare our home and our family to bring him here to us.
12.03.2014
Don't Forget Your Joy
As I sit here at 4:18, typing quickly before the children decide they are incapable of playing by themselves upstairs and they ambush me with pleas to play on the computer, I'm trying desperate to suck in these few moments of peace. deep breaths, relax...
only 4 hrs till bed time, well technically only an hr and a half until we leave for church. I can do this. Praise God for church tonight (literally, we'll praise God and THANK YOU, GOD, SO MUCH FOR CHURCH NURSERY STAFF!!! Tonight, I may kiss you.) Of course, our toddler isn't in love with your belly button and her pull up will be on the whole time, so I'm sure you'll tell me she was an angel, just like always - but for me - tonight - you're the angel.
It's been a day that started out so wonderful! Zemirah pooped in the potty, TWICE! Both times on her own without any prompting from me. And then we mixed cookie dough together, I even spoke kindly to my children the whole time. It was 11:30 though and I needed to go pick up potatoes from a friend so that we could have dinner tonight. So, instead of starting another batch of cookies, we headed over there.
When we got home, I forgot to ask Z to use the potty... and then, her bladder forgot to use the potty. So her ballet leotard (the most prized of all clothing items) had to go in the wash, and Mommy had to clean up pee..off the couch...off the clean laundry...
Z went down for a nap. I broke my "no movies before 3pm on school days" rule and let Am watch a movie so I could clean up the kitchen and take a shower. But then I got sucked into Am's movie, Am went to the library with Grandma, I quick paid a bill and jumped in the shower. But Z woke up, and joined me in the shower. So I forgot to wash my body. Then we cut out our cookies from the dough we made earlier in the day. But POWDERED SUGAR IS JUST SO MUCH FUN, the kids thought. So, Amariss would rub her hands in it and clap fervently to make it snow. And mommy started to lose it.
The cookies are baked, today really hasn't been so awful. Infact so many people have had worse days than me so far. I was celebrating our wins; poop in the potty, cookies baked, some cookies broken so we get to eat them! and then came the cry from upstairs.
MOOOOOMMMMMYYYYY!!!!! ZEMIRAH POOPED ON THE FLOOR!!!!!
I grabbed a pack of wipes and went upstairs and found a toddler squatting on the floor in full on poop position. "Zizi, we don't poop on the floor, we poop in the potty." I calmly stated. I stood her up and guided her out of the way. She stepped in it (oh no! I panicked inside) she stepped down. Trying to stay as calm as possible I cleaned off her foot and sent her on her way to clean up the turds staring me in the face. Before I knew it she sat down, and a messy poo butt smeared across more carpet. My heart sank. It's a never ending battle. Then she said "Mommy, I peed on that blue chair!" oh, great.
I sit here, calmed down, being fed plastic baby hands by the toddler who commited the above offense. She's so sweet, so cute. Asks adorable questions over and over and over again. She brought me a baby in a box as a present. If you could hear her sweet voice you would just smile with delight. She is such a joy to our lives. I can't let frustrating days, or frustrating moments steal away my joy in my position as a mother.
Sometimes it is so very hard. I don't like finding myself on my knees cleaning up more pee, more poop, more spilled sugar or flour. I don't like recleaning a mess because I wanted my oldest to learn how to clean it up the first time. In a moment of frustration tonight I spouted off to my husband that I was just so jealous of him, getting to leave the house and have someone else clean up the big messes. (in all honesty, poop really freaks him out, so it's probably for the best that this is usually my job)...
I don't want to lose my joy. I don't want to lose the ache I felt in my heart during the first few days of this sweet girls life in my womb of pleading "God, please, let me keep her!!"
Toddler twos and threes can be so hard, so trying, so exhausting... but in there somewhere is a sweet kiss (but don't try for two!), a sweet smell, a sweet snuggle. It might drive me nuts that she loves my bellybutton when I'm trying to run around the kitchen and she's following me with a hand up my shirt. But, she only wants my bellybutton, and that is a sweet blessing.
She just found her wings that she's been looking for for days. Her sweet voice "I found my wings! I found my wings! I'm flying! It's working! It's working!" oh sweet Z, I love you.
only 4 hrs till bed time, well technically only an hr and a half until we leave for church. I can do this. Praise God for church tonight (literally, we'll praise God and THANK YOU, GOD, SO MUCH FOR CHURCH NURSERY STAFF!!! Tonight, I may kiss you.) Of course, our toddler isn't in love with your belly button and her pull up will be on the whole time, so I'm sure you'll tell me she was an angel, just like always - but for me - tonight - you're the angel.
It's been a day that started out so wonderful! Zemirah pooped in the potty, TWICE! Both times on her own without any prompting from me. And then we mixed cookie dough together, I even spoke kindly to my children the whole time. It was 11:30 though and I needed to go pick up potatoes from a friend so that we could have dinner tonight. So, instead of starting another batch of cookies, we headed over there.
When we got home, I forgot to ask Z to use the potty... and then, her bladder forgot to use the potty. So her ballet leotard (the most prized of all clothing items) had to go in the wash, and Mommy had to clean up pee..off the couch...off the clean laundry...
Z went down for a nap. I broke my "no movies before 3pm on school days" rule and let Am watch a movie so I could clean up the kitchen and take a shower. But then I got sucked into Am's movie, Am went to the library with Grandma, I quick paid a bill and jumped in the shower. But Z woke up, and joined me in the shower. So I forgot to wash my body. Then we cut out our cookies from the dough we made earlier in the day. But POWDERED SUGAR IS JUST SO MUCH FUN, the kids thought. So, Amariss would rub her hands in it and clap fervently to make it snow. And mommy started to lose it.
The cookies are baked, today really hasn't been so awful. Infact so many people have had worse days than me so far. I was celebrating our wins; poop in the potty, cookies baked, some cookies broken so we get to eat them! and then came the cry from upstairs.
MOOOOOMMMMMYYYYY!!!!! ZEMIRAH POOPED ON THE FLOOR!!!!!
I grabbed a pack of wipes and went upstairs and found a toddler squatting on the floor in full on poop position. "Zizi, we don't poop on the floor, we poop in the potty." I calmly stated. I stood her up and guided her out of the way. She stepped in it (oh no! I panicked inside) she stepped down. Trying to stay as calm as possible I cleaned off her foot and sent her on her way to clean up the turds staring me in the face. Before I knew it she sat down, and a messy poo butt smeared across more carpet. My heart sank. It's a never ending battle. Then she said "Mommy, I peed on that blue chair!" oh, great.
I sit here, calmed down, being fed plastic baby hands by the toddler who commited the above offense. She's so sweet, so cute. Asks adorable questions over and over and over again. She brought me a baby in a box as a present. If you could hear her sweet voice you would just smile with delight. She is such a joy to our lives. I can't let frustrating days, or frustrating moments steal away my joy in my position as a mother.
Sometimes it is so very hard. I don't like finding myself on my knees cleaning up more pee, more poop, more spilled sugar or flour. I don't like recleaning a mess because I wanted my oldest to learn how to clean it up the first time. In a moment of frustration tonight I spouted off to my husband that I was just so jealous of him, getting to leave the house and have someone else clean up the big messes. (in all honesty, poop really freaks him out, so it's probably for the best that this is usually my job)...
I don't want to lose my joy. I don't want to lose the ache I felt in my heart during the first few days of this sweet girls life in my womb of pleading "God, please, let me keep her!!"
Toddler twos and threes can be so hard, so trying, so exhausting... but in there somewhere is a sweet kiss (but don't try for two!), a sweet smell, a sweet snuggle. It might drive me nuts that she loves my bellybutton when I'm trying to run around the kitchen and she's following me with a hand up my shirt. But, she only wants my bellybutton, and that is a sweet blessing.
She just found her wings that she's been looking for for days. Her sweet voice "I found my wings! I found my wings! I'm flying! It's working! It's working!" oh sweet Z, I love you.
9.17.2013
Choosing Joy
This morning started out rough. Actually, no - it didn't. It started out great! Tiny slept all night long, which is pretty rare, so I woke up well rested and ready for the day.
But then I lost track of time, and made an unfortunate discovery. I had made a mistake a few months ago, that I didn't find out about until this morning and it ended up costing us money. I really hate it when I make mistakes, especially financial ones. So to say I was in a sour mood would be true.
We were on our way to Noodle's ballet class this morning and all I could think was "What else could happen today? This day is just going to stink!"
Then I gently reminded myself to choose joy. It wasn't an easy choice. I kept reminding myself of all my failures and ways that I was pretty sure I wouldn't measure up today. But I prayed, I hashed it out with Jesus a bit - not wanting to choose joy, more or less forcing myself into it.
To be honest, I didn't measure up today, I rarely do.
But I decided that at the end of this day, I would choose joy. I wouldn't sit around and think about how terrible I did at being a great mom, or how my house doesn't look any better than it did when we started the day (and actually it probably looks worse), or that school wasn't as organized as I thought, or that we ended up eating leftovers instead of making a real dinner.
Truth is, today wasn't a stellar day for me and tomorrow probably won't be either.
But I've got joy. I see love in my children's faces and I delight in their laughter and voices. I kept calm when my patience was tested today, I let my daughter throw herself on the piles of laundry on the couch, and tried not to think about what I should really be doing with that laundry...
We did school; with jewels that my daughter wanted to use for a craft. We'll eat dinner; not what was planned and we will enjoy this evening and enjoy each other.
Some days do not go like you plan them to, but that is okay. At the end of the day I chose joy. I messed up. I made mistakes.
But there is a new day coming and today I'm not going to beat myself up over my shortcomings.
Any of you have days when you have to choose to be joyful?
But then I lost track of time, and made an unfortunate discovery. I had made a mistake a few months ago, that I didn't find out about until this morning and it ended up costing us money. I really hate it when I make mistakes, especially financial ones. So to say I was in a sour mood would be true.
We were on our way to Noodle's ballet class this morning and all I could think was "What else could happen today? This day is just going to stink!"
Then I gently reminded myself to choose joy. It wasn't an easy choice. I kept reminding myself of all my failures and ways that I was pretty sure I wouldn't measure up today. But I prayed, I hashed it out with Jesus a bit - not wanting to choose joy, more or less forcing myself into it.
To be honest, I didn't measure up today, I rarely do.
But I decided that at the end of this day, I would choose joy. I wouldn't sit around and think about how terrible I did at being a great mom, or how my house doesn't look any better than it did when we started the day (and actually it probably looks worse), or that school wasn't as organized as I thought, or that we ended up eating leftovers instead of making a real dinner.
Truth is, today wasn't a stellar day for me and tomorrow probably won't be either.
But I've got joy. I see love in my children's faces and I delight in their laughter and voices. I kept calm when my patience was tested today, I let my daughter throw herself on the piles of laundry on the couch, and tried not to think about what I should really be doing with that laundry...
We did school; with jewels that my daughter wanted to use for a craft. We'll eat dinner; not what was planned and we will enjoy this evening and enjoy each other.
Some days do not go like you plan them to, but that is okay. At the end of the day I chose joy. I messed up. I made mistakes.
But there is a new day coming and today I'm not going to beat myself up over my shortcomings.
Any of you have days when you have to choose to be joyful?
6.06.2013
And round and round we go
**I wrote this post yesterday, and I will add that I am feeling much better today. Not so down and worn out by the hormones. I definitely have a much better perspective today - but these were yesterday's thoughts, and sometimes I do really feel them.**
It's cycle day 2 here and I forgot what this was like. My last actual period was in January, all other since bleeding has been a subchorionic hemorrhage or my miscarriage.
Believe it or not, I was actually looking forward to this cycle. For the first time since purchasing it, I get to use my Diva Cup. Not sure what a Diva Cup is? Click the link - and then cringe... or if you don't want to know, just stay in the dark.
I was not prepared, however, for the HORMONES. Oh.my.goodness. The last week has been a sugar eating disaster, as I try to lead my family towards healthy eating, and then sneak 15 mini snickers after everyone has gone to bed. Or eat 3 smores at the cookout, or down just 1 more cherry coke. Yes, my running has taken a significant hit from all the sugar.
This also happens to be the week that our 1 year old has transitioned out of our bed. The transition has gone so smoothly, so I can't complain - however, she still wakes up to nurse twice a night. Only now, instead of whipping up my shirt for easy and convenient feeding... I must trudge all the way upstairs. And I do mean, trudge.
However, she is sleeping better and longer - and my husbands alarm clock no longer wakes her up at 6 am every morning. Couldn't be happier about that.
Today, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Which is sad really, we slept on new clean sheets last night and they were so soft, I should have woken up happier.
But the cramps, the fatigue, the irritability, everything that accompany's this monthly event is just wearing me down.
On top of everything else, having my period - is just a reminder of everything that was and should be and now isn't. At least, isn't here. Isaiah is, he very much so, is. He just is somewhere else - with Jesus. With 6 other beautiful babies I have not yet met. And I'm down because of that.
Down because I wish I was pregnant, down because I wish I was sleeping in my bed on this rainy day, or cuddled up on the couch watching a movie, or not wondering how in the world I'm going to clean my house before this weekend.
Probably mostly down, because when you're on your period - silver linings are very hard to see. I'm too tired to think clearly and see the other side; that next week I'll feel better. I won't be tired, the sun will be shining and it will *hopefully* be warm, and my memories and heartaches will find their place in my heart, to be moments of reflection and not hours of sadness.
Don't think I'm not happy. I love snuggling with my girls on these days, after reading a sad story I draw them close to me, take deep breaths of their sweet scents and sometimes stinky breath and I know very deeply that I treasure them. That I don't take my girls for granted. That when Isaiah is not here, and when things seem so frustrating and bleak. When I look around and have no one close that really understands it all, I know that I have my sweet girls and one day, not too far awa,y if I think in a heavenly perspective, one day - I will draw in the sweet scent of not just 2 babies, but 9.
9. That number makes my heartache. I've been pregnant 9 times.
If I ever get pregnant again the question I will be asked at every appointment will be "Which pregnancy is this?" 10. "And how many live children?" 2.
Yes. That will be me.
5.22.2013
Comparisons: The Deadly Trap
Have you ever read a story and thought to yourself "Wow. That is really powerful! I wish my story was that impressive."
I was just thinking that. I play the comparison game way too often with myself; looking at other people's stories, lives, or opportunities as ways to make myself feel less.
I've realized though, that I'm not the only one. People have compared themselves to me! And I think, uh... I wish I could be flattered, instead I find that you are sorely mistaken!!
I keep having to remind myself that we are all just humans. She's human, I'm human, you're human. And God did not create all humans to have the same stories, they are all different for special reasons and purposes. Sometimes we choose the path our lives take, sometimes we don't - either way my story is not supposed to look like hers, your story is not supposed to look like mine.
If I keep this perspective in mind, it helps me from playing the comparison game. It helps me from getting jealous that her story sounds cooler than mine, or more exciting, or like she is a better multi-tasker, or that she is more capable than me. No, none of those things are true - today she might be cooler than me, but that's because we had a different day. Tomorrow my day might be more exciting, and for goodness sake, next week her balls in the air might come tumbling down while I'm juggling with ease. I might have PMS today, and she might be at her peak hormonal performance.
Lysa Turkhurst says in her book Unglued: "Comparison steals celebration." She goes on to say "We stop celebrating our own good and have a really hard time celebrating others' good."
What a profound statement and truth. How often have I done that? I stop seeing all the good God is doing in and through me and I get angry about all the good God is doing in and through someone else! That is so backward and contrary to what God has called us as believers to do.
Just some conviction for myself tonight as I jealously began to think that someone else's story might be more powerful than mine.
I was just thinking that. I play the comparison game way too often with myself; looking at other people's stories, lives, or opportunities as ways to make myself feel less.
I've realized though, that I'm not the only one. People have compared themselves to me! And I think, uh... I wish I could be flattered, instead I find that you are sorely mistaken!!
I keep having to remind myself that we are all just humans. She's human, I'm human, you're human. And God did not create all humans to have the same stories, they are all different for special reasons and purposes. Sometimes we choose the path our lives take, sometimes we don't - either way my story is not supposed to look like hers, your story is not supposed to look like mine.
If I keep this perspective in mind, it helps me from playing the comparison game. It helps me from getting jealous that her story sounds cooler than mine, or more exciting, or like she is a better multi-tasker, or that she is more capable than me. No, none of those things are true - today she might be cooler than me, but that's because we had a different day. Tomorrow my day might be more exciting, and for goodness sake, next week her balls in the air might come tumbling down while I'm juggling with ease. I might have PMS today, and she might be at her peak hormonal performance.
Lysa Turkhurst says in her book Unglued: "Comparison steals celebration." She goes on to say "We stop celebrating our own good and have a really hard time celebrating others' good."
What a profound statement and truth. How often have I done that? I stop seeing all the good God is doing in and through me and I get angry about all the good God is doing in and through someone else! That is so backward and contrary to what God has called us as believers to do.
Just some conviction for myself tonight as I jealously began to think that someone else's story might be more powerful than mine.
4.17.2013
I'm behind.
I'm behind on my 29 Not So Put Together Truths, and frankly I'm so over them. I have so much other stuff on my mind right now and already feel like crap so reminding myself of my flaws every day is kind of starting to suck.
So please, just know that no one is as put together as they look and I will be done with my truths.
Coming up with 29 would probably be really easy, but I'm just not into that much self-degradation.
Enjoy the next few weeks! Knowing me, without this obligation it will be awhile before I'm back on to post again.
We have some very special company spending the weekend with us and my hubby and I will celebrate our 31st (his) and 29th (mine) birthdays on Saturday!
Happy Birthday to us! and all you other April 20th-ers out there (there seem to be a lot of us!) !!!!
ENJOY!
So please, just know that no one is as put together as they look and I will be done with my truths.
Coming up with 29 would probably be really easy, but I'm just not into that much self-degradation.
Enjoy the next few weeks! Knowing me, without this obligation it will be awhile before I'm back on to post again.
We have some very special company spending the weekend with us and my hubby and I will celebrate our 31st (his) and 29th (mine) birthdays on Saturday!
Happy Birthday to us! and all you other April 20th-ers out there (there seem to be a lot of us!) !!!!
ENJOY!
4.15.2013
Not so put together Truth #14 AND Put Together Truth #1
Not so put together truth #14 -
Jealousy. Oh how it still rears its ugly head. Sometimes you just want to scream "How do they do it!!!!!" and then you remind yourself that your job, although much less involved at the moment, is still important. Most important. Even though she is doing the most important job AND everything else you ever dreamed of. Its not the right time, her life is not my life - she does not have my struggles and I do not have hers. We have different lives. I don't want hers. I want mine, mine makes me happy. Hers might make me very overwhelmed and something would suffer. We'll be okay, God will bring me to where I am supposed to be in his timing.
Ever find yourself wishing you might be as awesome as you think someone else is? Ever see someone else living your imagined dream and have a difficult time with it? Yes, you probably have, you understand.
And because I just can't take it anymore -
Put Together Truth #1 - My 5 year old just read her very first word :) MOPS, a genius she is!
How are you feeling oh so put together today?
ah, shoot. I just read that that should be NSPT truth #13, not #14. So, I'm NSPT after all :)
Jealousy. Oh how it still rears its ugly head. Sometimes you just want to scream "How do they do it!!!!!" and then you remind yourself that your job, although much less involved at the moment, is still important. Most important. Even though she is doing the most important job AND everything else you ever dreamed of. Its not the right time, her life is not my life - she does not have my struggles and I do not have hers. We have different lives. I don't want hers. I want mine, mine makes me happy. Hers might make me very overwhelmed and something would suffer. We'll be okay, God will bring me to where I am supposed to be in his timing.
Ever find yourself wishing you might be as awesome as you think someone else is? Ever see someone else living your imagined dream and have a difficult time with it? Yes, you probably have, you understand.
And because I just can't take it anymore -
Put Together Truth #1 - My 5 year old just read her very first word :) MOPS, a genius she is!
How are you feeling oh so put together today?
ah, shoot. I just read that that should be NSPT truth #13, not #14. So, I'm NSPT after all :)
4.13.2013
#10, #11, #12
These are getting difficult. And well, kind of embarrassing! Oh well, looks like we'll have company next week so I'll have to pick up my bootstraps and clean my house. whew, it will be an adventure for sure but I can't wait to have them!!
#10 - (and here's why I need to clean the house) I don't think I've mopped my kitchen floor since *wince* December. Late December if that makes it any better? nope. it doesn't.
#11 - The other day, in the midst of hustle, bustle, and tired mommy - my daughter stopped, look at me, and said "Mommy, you're not being very loving." ouch. That hurts. I apologized and adjusted my attitude and made sure to show a little more patience and understanding in the future.
#12 - We had to make extra trips to the grocery store this week to pick up essential items I forgot to get the first time. Extra trips to the grocery store are probably the norm for most people, however, most people live near the grocery store. We don't. So if we forget something we try to "make do" or have my husband pick it up on his way home from work. This week, we had to go in.
When this is over I'm going to list 29 ways that I'm awesome. lol. probably not, but that would be funny right?
#10 - (and here's why I need to clean the house) I don't think I've mopped my kitchen floor since *wince* December. Late December if that makes it any better? nope. it doesn't.
#11 - The other day, in the midst of hustle, bustle, and tired mommy - my daughter stopped, look at me, and said "Mommy, you're not being very loving." ouch. That hurts. I apologized and adjusted my attitude and made sure to show a little more patience and understanding in the future.
#12 - We had to make extra trips to the grocery store this week to pick up essential items I forgot to get the first time. Extra trips to the grocery store are probably the norm for most people, however, most people live near the grocery store. We don't. So if we forget something we try to "make do" or have my husband pick it up on his way home from work. This week, we had to go in.
When this is over I'm going to list 29 ways that I'm awesome. lol. probably not, but that would be funny right?
4.11.2013
#8 & #9
Not So Put Together Truth #8 -
So you know how two days ago I mentioned we didn't have any clean dishes, and then I said that I washed dishes. Well, when I loaded the dishwasher I forgot to put in the silverware. So I had clean plates.... but no utensils. Seriously.
Not So Put Together Truth #9 -
I have a whole chicken in my freezer that I'd love to cut up and cook but I keep forgetting to defrost it! It takes like two days to defrost it in the fridge and every time I think about cooking it, I remember that it's still frozen :/
So you know how two days ago I mentioned we didn't have any clean dishes, and then I said that I washed dishes. Well, when I loaded the dishwasher I forgot to put in the silverware. So I had clean plates.... but no utensils. Seriously.
Not So Put Together Truth #9 -
I have a whole chicken in my freezer that I'd love to cut up and cook but I keep forgetting to defrost it! It takes like two days to defrost it in the fridge and every time I think about cooking it, I remember that it's still frozen :/
4.09.2013
Truth #7
Ah, #7 - really, I've been at this for 7 days already?! It feels like I just started.
Not So Put Together Truth #7:
We ran out of dishes today. Plates, silverware, the whole gammot. I had to wash a pan in order to reheat our spaghetti and we ate off of paper plates and used kids forks and kids cups. No one seemed to mind except myself - and then I did a load of dishes. And just for good measure I'll throw in that I forgot to brush my teeth before taking my daughter to preschool. (that's like a two for one special!)
See, you're not so crazy. I don't do dishes either!
Not So Put Together Truth #7:
We ran out of dishes today. Plates, silverware, the whole gammot. I had to wash a pan in order to reheat our spaghetti and we ate off of paper plates and used kids forks and kids cups. No one seemed to mind except myself - and then I did a load of dishes. And just for good measure I'll throw in that I forgot to brush my teeth before taking my daughter to preschool. (that's like a two for one special!)
See, you're not so crazy. I don't do dishes either!
4.08.2013
Truth #6
Not So Put Together Truth #6:
Today I had a friend and colleague over. I sent her a text ahead of time to let her know she would be seeing my house "as is" ie really messy, and then I cleaned my house as best I could with the limited time I had. It was still a mess, but just not as messy... And that giant pile of laundry? Definitely hiding behind my bedroom door. We had to sit somewhere!!
yep. I did that.
Anyone else told any little white lies to make yourself feel a little bit better?
Today I had a friend and colleague over. I sent her a text ahead of time to let her know she would be seeing my house "as is" ie really messy, and then I cleaned my house as best I could with the limited time I had. It was still a mess, but just not as messy... And that giant pile of laundry? Definitely hiding behind my bedroom door. We had to sit somewhere!!
yep. I did that.
Anyone else told any little white lies to make yourself feel a little bit better?
4.07.2013
Truth #5
Lets just be honest here. It's kind of difficult to come up with 29 ways you're not put together, specfically, 29 things you're willing to tell the world. Today I told the laundry thing to a friend at church and I think she tried to commiserate, or maybe her house is just bigger than mine, either way - My laundry situation might be a little out of control. Okay, so ripping away another layer of vulnerability -
Not So Put Together Truth #5:
Trash. I am really bad about throwing things away. Not gross things, paper things. Like a small scrap of paper that my daughter tore off of another small piece of paper. I'll throw it at the nearest trash can, but it rarely makes it there - leaving me with small pieces of paper on the floor, that my baby usually finds and tries to eat. And then there are the countless preschool drawings that my 5 yr old refuses to let me throw away, and well, the trash seems to be everywhere. When I throw everything away, my house looks pretty clean!
How do you conquer the paper problem?
Not So Put Together Truth #5:
Trash. I am really bad about throwing things away. Not gross things, paper things. Like a small scrap of paper that my daughter tore off of another small piece of paper. I'll throw it at the nearest trash can, but it rarely makes it there - leaving me with small pieces of paper on the floor, that my baby usually finds and tries to eat. And then there are the countless preschool drawings that my 5 yr old refuses to let me throw away, and well, the trash seems to be everywhere. When I throw everything away, my house looks pretty clean!
How do you conquer the paper problem?
4.06.2013
Truth #4
Not So Put Together Truth #4:
You might be wondering, why is it so easy for her to just post these things on the internet for all the world to see? Well, here's the deal. I have 8 followers. 8. I'm pretty sure though that only like 3 of you actually read my blog, and beyond that, I get like 1-2 people trafficking my blog like a week. So, not really being all that vulnerable. And so far, I'm living under the glorious illusion that everything I've posted is quite normal. So, it will get a little bit more difficult for me when I have to start posting things that I don't joke about at MOPS. Yah, then it will get real.
So for Truth #4 -
There is a giant pile of laundry that lives on my couch. The clothes switch out, but the pile pretty much never goes away. Maybe once a month (?) My husband will fold it all and put it away, but even then, sometimes it gets folded and more laundry gets thrown on top of the folded stuff. If you come to my house and there is not a giant pile of laundry on my couch, it just means that it's hiding behind my bedroom door :) It still exists, don't worry.
You may find through this that I totally despise housework. But I totally adore my children, so that makes it all okay!
Do you have a giant laundry pile? Please tell me I'm not alone!!
You might be wondering, why is it so easy for her to just post these things on the internet for all the world to see? Well, here's the deal. I have 8 followers. 8. I'm pretty sure though that only like 3 of you actually read my blog, and beyond that, I get like 1-2 people trafficking my blog like a week. So, not really being all that vulnerable. And so far, I'm living under the glorious illusion that everything I've posted is quite normal. So, it will get a little bit more difficult for me when I have to start posting things that I don't joke about at MOPS. Yah, then it will get real.
So for Truth #4 -
There is a giant pile of laundry that lives on my couch. The clothes switch out, but the pile pretty much never goes away. Maybe once a month (?) My husband will fold it all and put it away, but even then, sometimes it gets folded and more laundry gets thrown on top of the folded stuff. If you come to my house and there is not a giant pile of laundry on my couch, it just means that it's hiding behind my bedroom door :) It still exists, don't worry.
You may find through this that I totally despise housework. But I totally adore my children, so that makes it all okay!
Do you have a giant laundry pile? Please tell me I'm not alone!!
Truth #3
Not So Put Together Truth #3:
Sometimes I don't keep the commitments I make, or live up to the expectations of the people around me. I'm pretty sure this happens to everyone. But case in point, yesterday, Truth #3 just did not appear on my blog!
Why? It was grocery day. Do you have a grocery day? The day of torture. The day of disaster. The day of dread.
That's how I feel about grocery day.
Running to atleast two, sometimes three stores, encountering lots of people, trying to read a list, drive a large cumbersome cart, and find my items all at the same time. And usually I have two children with me, one screaming, the other wandering... (thankfully not the case yesterday, Granna graciously volunteered to play with the two beauties) but yesterday - the rearranged my entire grocery store. Suddenly I'm standing where the flour should be and I'm staring at dried cranberries. I completely walked past the cereal thinking it was snack food.
Anyway, grocery day wears me out. And I forgot to post.
What's your least favorite household task?
Sometimes I don't keep the commitments I make, or live up to the expectations of the people around me. I'm pretty sure this happens to everyone. But case in point, yesterday, Truth #3 just did not appear on my blog!
Why? It was grocery day. Do you have a grocery day? The day of torture. The day of disaster. The day of dread.
That's how I feel about grocery day.
Running to atleast two, sometimes three stores, encountering lots of people, trying to read a list, drive a large cumbersome cart, and find my items all at the same time. And usually I have two children with me, one screaming, the other wandering... (thankfully not the case yesterday, Granna graciously volunteered to play with the two beauties) but yesterday - the rearranged my entire grocery store. Suddenly I'm standing where the flour should be and I'm staring at dried cranberries. I completely walked past the cereal thinking it was snack food.
Anyway, grocery day wears me out. And I forgot to post.
What's your least favorite household task?
4.04.2013
Not So Put Together Truth #2
As promised here is Truth #2.
Not So Put Together Truth #2:
Yesterday I made a delicious lunch, while talking to my mom on the phone. Maybe that was my problem... maybe I was just so hungry. Who knows. Either way, after sautee - ing (because that sounds better than "frying") two beautiful pieces of tilapia in my non-stick Pampered Chef 10 in skillet. I ate my delicious tilapia. Yes, I smelled something burning. No, I did not really think anything of it. About 5-10 minutes later, after delicious lunch was fully consumed and sitting peacefully in my belly... I looked over and noticed.... I left the burner on - HIGH - with nothing in the skillet. I ruined my rather expensive Pampered Chef skillet and toxic burnt teflon fumes now filled my house.
It took all afternoon with all the windows open and fans on (and it was a chilly day yesterday) and throwing away the pan to get the smell out of my house.
Anything you've done lately that might kill a parrot?
Not So Put Together Truth #2:
Yesterday I made a delicious lunch, while talking to my mom on the phone. Maybe that was my problem... maybe I was just so hungry. Who knows. Either way, after sautee - ing (because that sounds better than "frying") two beautiful pieces of tilapia in my non-stick Pampered Chef 10 in skillet. I ate my delicious tilapia. Yes, I smelled something burning. No, I did not really think anything of it. About 5-10 minutes later, after delicious lunch was fully consumed and sitting peacefully in my belly... I looked over and noticed.... I left the burner on - HIGH - with nothing in the skillet. I ruined my rather expensive Pampered Chef skillet and toxic burnt teflon fumes now filled my house.
It took all afternoon with all the windows open and fans on (and it was a chilly day yesterday) and throwing away the pan to get the smell out of my house.
Anything you've done lately that might kill a parrot?
4.03.2013
29 (Not So Put-Together) Truths
Yesterday at pre-school pick-up I joked about how my baby wasn't wearing any socks. It was kind of chilly outside and she should have been wearing socks. The story goes that when I picked up the baby and headed out to the car with her, I noticed, in the car, that she only had 1 sock on. So instead of taking in a baby with only 1 sock, I took the other one off so it might look like I meant to do that... I know the whole thing sounds ridiculous now but at the time it made sense.
I commented to the mom "I thought that if she didn't have any socks on, as opposed to one, I would look more put-together." and she said back "Oh, you always look so put-together!" To which I chuckled and stated that I am rarely put-together.
So, whether she was just being kind or appearances are truly that deceiving, I don't know, but I've decided to give 1 truth every day for 29 days (in honor of my 29th birthday at the end of this month). They will let you know just how not put-together I am... even though I might look very put-together (somedays).
So after much contemplation and feeling comforted that if these truths get out CPS will not take my children away since they are, in fact fed, housed, healthy, clothed, and very much so loved - I'm going to be very vulnerable and let you know go ahead and *eek* judge me.
Either by the end of this you will come to realize that we're all a hot mess or you'll just find that I'm a hot mess. But please, oh, please don't let me be the only one who lives like this!
So here we go...
Truth #1
I have been sleeping without a pillow case on my pillow for the past 3 nights because my baby peed out of her diaper in her pack 'n play. My husband stripped her bed but didn't lay anything else down over the mattress (like a blanket, sheet, cover... etc... okay, another truth, we just lay a crochet blanket over her pack 'n play mattress and it hasn't been washed yet from the pee)... So, I thought she might want something that smelled familiar to lay on, so I laid my pillow case down on her mattress for her to sleep on... (for the 3 hrs a night she actually sleeps in her own bed).
So you see, I'm not so put-together after all....
Stay tuned for tomorrow's Not So Put-Together Truth.
Do you have any Not So Put-Together Truth's you'd like to share to make me feel a tad better?
I commented to the mom "I thought that if she didn't have any socks on, as opposed to one, I would look more put-together." and she said back "Oh, you always look so put-together!" To which I chuckled and stated that I am rarely put-together.
So, whether she was just being kind or appearances are truly that deceiving, I don't know, but I've decided to give 1 truth every day for 29 days (in honor of my 29th birthday at the end of this month). They will let you know just how not put-together I am... even though I might look very put-together (somedays).
So after much contemplation and feeling comforted that if these truths get out CPS will not take my children away since they are, in fact fed, housed, healthy, clothed, and very much so loved - I'm going to be very vulnerable and let you know go ahead and *eek* judge me.
Either by the end of this you will come to realize that we're all a hot mess or you'll just find that I'm a hot mess. But please, oh, please don't let me be the only one who lives like this!
So here we go...
Truth #1
I have been sleeping without a pillow case on my pillow for the past 3 nights because my baby peed out of her diaper in her pack 'n play. My husband stripped her bed but didn't lay anything else down over the mattress (like a blanket, sheet, cover... etc... okay, another truth, we just lay a crochet blanket over her pack 'n play mattress and it hasn't been washed yet from the pee)... So, I thought she might want something that smelled familiar to lay on, so I laid my pillow case down on her mattress for her to sleep on... (for the 3 hrs a night she actually sleeps in her own bed).
So you see, I'm not so put-together after all....
Stay tuned for tomorrow's Not So Put-Together Truth.
Do you have any Not So Put-Together Truth's you'd like to share to make me feel a tad better?
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