Even on the Hard Days

 

Yesterday my fingers flew across the keyboard in homeschool happiness and bliss.  I chronicled a lifestyle that I have chosen and love and in my evening eyes I was pleased. Today whacked me in the face like a stack of books swung by an angry 8^th grader.

Let me be frank. It didn’t start well. I allowed some screen time which led to some not great behavior. I talked too long on the phone with my mom. I made a concession for one child that disrupted another. There was poop on the deck. Water on the floor. Text messages. Instant messages. Budget concerns. Tantrums over school work. A doctors appointment.

In the good moments I went roller blading with my older son. I gave my toddler a bath when he got  out of hand. I shoved my head in my blankets and screamed really loudly. Eventually, the school work did get done, although I forgot about an important lesson. I took a jog/walk. I didn’t eat the crust off the pizza. I ate a vegetable and a fruit. I also ate the popcorn and a handful of m&m’s. I didn’t drink the soda.

Why am I chronicling these details? Because yesterday’s post, while true, was also shrouded in the way I feel on the good days. Homeschooling/home parenting/child rearing is hard stuff. It’s day in and day out. It’s changing the plans. It’s giving someone extra grace. It’s giving yourself extra grace. It’s taking some unintended insults from your kiddos. It’s giving them some unsolicited advice, not always well received.

It’s extra hard. It’s extra worth it. It’s answering the question every day “Why do I work a job that doesn’t pay in money?” And even on this day, this extra hard day the answer is the same, “No amount of money is worth missing out on all that I would miss out on if this wasn’t my job.”

Blessings,

Brie

Homeschool Mama

 

I bought my first “homeschool mama” shirt the other day.  It arrived today and I laughed at myself that finally, after 9 years of homeschooling, I felt ready to get myself a shirt. I mean, why now? Why 9 years later do I finally feel comfortable in this homeschooling skin? 

Over the past 9 years I have doubted and struggled. Is this the right option? Is this the best option? Will my kids be okay? Are we learning enough? Are they learning at all?  We have done HSAP, co-ops, community groups, dual enrollment, therapies, tutoring, full time public schooling (that was a big deal), and back again. So why do I feel so confident here, in this? Because in all these years, I’ve discovered that they’re okay. They are learning. They are growing. 

My little girl with dyslexia, dysgraphia, and anxiety – she has learned how to write full papers.  My little girl with a language disorder – she is quickly conquering reading. My little boy with boundless energy – he is soaking up information like a sponge and repeating it back to me in striking detail.

We strive and we struggle. Some subjects come easy and we dance through the lessons, some subjects we hike through slowly but deliberately conquering the towering mountain before us.

I have seen post after post on social media the last few weeks, pictures and words detailing the exodus of children back to school. Parents cheering on their brave students as they enter back into their school buildings and breathing a sigh of relief that the difficult work of educating their energetic children rests in the capable hands of their teachers. Posts telling tired mamas to relax, breathe easy, drink some coffee, read a book – and I’ll admit, I have felt keenly the pangs of jealousy. My busy season is just beginning. There is little time now for long coffee breaks, book reading (beyond read-alouds for my kids), crocheting, or writing (a much missed past time).

But even through a little jealousy, I love teaching my kids. I love spending this precious time with them. I love watching my daughter conquer reading with squeals of delight. I love laughing and joking with my oldest while we work our way through Latin conjugations and pre-Algebra. I love when my son makes outrageous math problems for me to solve between his own, even though math is tricky for him. I love passing out play-doh to keep hands busy while I read out loud another book by Beverly Cleary. I love making a snack tray, and I love snuggling on the couch. I love making omelets and oatmeal and reluctantly making ramen.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot I could get done if I was only chasing a 2 year old around all day. Or, if I had time to run a side gig (from one of the numerous direct sales companies that I love) that brought us in some extra money. It’d be awesome to be able to clean everything myself, or exercise, or read a book, or crochet something. It’d be so cool if I could keep this house in order all day long and then give the kids 1 or 2 chores to do when they got home.

But that’s not the life I’ve chosen. I’ve chosen homeschool mama, which means I have my own unofficial full time job. It’s a full time job without a monetary paycheck. It pays in emotional satisfaction, sometimes frustration. It pays in my kids’ futures. It pays in joy. It pays in laughter. It pays in high fives, math jokes, Latin jokes, homeschooling jokes. It’s hard. But it’s so good.

I’m a homeschool mama.

Blessings,

Brie