I knew I would blog this week, there is so much to say, but I haven't known how to say it.
Really, there hasn't been a whole lot to report. I made a surprise trip to Arkansas two weekends ago to surprise my mom for her birthday! (and if I was really great at taking pictures I'd have some for you, but wrangling two kids by myself for a 12 hr drive was enough).
On our way to Arkansas we got the news that our application had been accepted by the agency and we were ready to move on with the next step! That step was signing a lot of paperwork...
Officially, the paperwork has been signed and mailed, and according to the United States Postal Service should arrive at our agency's head office on Thursday. Woohoo!
I really feel God's hand in all of this. Down to every last tiny, seemingly unimportant detail like our paperwork arriving on Thursday, November 21.
A little over 6 months ago we miscarried a little boy, Isaiah. Many of you have seen our posts and have shown us so much support. Amazingly, our hearts have healed so well from this loss, which I know is nothing short of God's divine goodness. We were blessed to have a memorial service for him, and because of this, his loss helped bring closure to us from 7 years of miscarriages.
We had begun looking into adoption in January of this year, long before we knew we were expecting. With our pregnancy we put adoption off to the side for awhile. When we lost Isaiah, and were ready to pursue adoption again, I knew I would not be fully ready until we had passed and mourned his due date. This Wednesday, November 20, is Isaiah's due date.
He sees us, he hears us. He knows exactly who we are, and where we are in our journey. God does not take a single thing for granted.
Sunday, one of our pastor's reminded us that "Our God takes impossibilities and makes them possibilities." That is so true. From step one he has taken what seems impossible to us and opened a door and made it a possibility. He has closed doors that we may have wanted to step through, knowing it wasn't the right plan for us. We are completely trusting Him as we take one more step toward our possibility.
Today we also remember our 2nd miscarriage. Our little baby, Tiny, was miscarried on November 18, 2006. Sometimes I wonder when I will stop remembering these anniversaries, but my heart feels that as long as we live, we won't. These little ones, a part of our lives for an incredibly too short amount of time, are a part of us. We lost Tiny while at a FamilyLife Marriage Conference, we were a little over 6 weeks along.
So, this week is strangely bittersweet. We mourn a lot of loss but look forward with tempered anticipation for all that is to come.
