An Attainable Goal

It was Christmas Eve this year and I found myself in a quandary.  I was questioning my decision to post a picture of my three beautiful children dressed in matching pajamas on to Facebook.  Just three weeks earlier I had spoken to a room of a 100 women about family traditions and out of the whole thing all I could remember was that I had essentially said - we don't have an Elf of the Shelf.  We don't talk about Santa and we don't wear matching PJ's on Christmas Eve.  Honestly, that generally had been true, up until that point.

Just because it is so cute, you need to see if for yourself.

Within a week of the Ladies Brunch we had an Elf on the Shelf (courtesy of "Santa" - you know, the one we don't talk about).  And here we were on Christmas Eve and I was lining up my little munchkins in front of my Mom's Christmas tree dressed in identical pajamas (honestly, it was a fantastic sale and a strike of luck that they had my kids' sizes... luck, or a little bit of humility from the Lord?)  To make matters worse on the "I'm a complete hypocrite scale," I knew that by morning my three year old would be convinced that Santa was in fact real; because I had carefully selected and wrapped a brand new soccer ball to be placed under the tree - the only thing she wanted for Christmas from Santa.  

I was really feeling low.  It was about the middle of the Christmas Eve movie that my kids were exhausted and ready for bed.  But I really really wanted to watch Elf (because you know... selfish.)  There was whining, complaining, lots and lots of wriggling.  It wasn't much fun.  It was kind of ruining the movie.  So we tried to put the kids to bed, but they weren't falling asleep fast enough.  

Somewhere in there I said something ridiculous.  It might have sounded something like "Christmas is never about moms.  Christmas is always about the kids."  

A far cry from my line three weeks prior, "Christmas is always about Jesus."  

Let's be honest.  I wasn't in a good place.  Somehow all of it - the hub bub, the holly jolly, the Santa - It had sucked me in.  My contentedness had been stripped and replaced by a mystical idea that Christmas should be all about me and since I knew it wouldn't be I was mad about it.

How did this happen?

I'm not really sure how it happened.  I'm not even exactly sure what happened.  

But I found myself crying, wondering if I had ruined my kids' lives, or at the very least their Christmas (of which, I did neither, they're okay - thankfully).  

Here we are two days left in this year, and I'm still wondering what went wrong last week.  I'm trying to make plans and goals - wondering what God's vision is for our lives in this coming year, and I keep coming back to this lesson learned.  

No matter the day, the week, the month, the season - something will always be vying to strip my attention from the King of all Kings.  No matter how grounded I thought I was - there is still an enemy out there seeking to destroy my soul, my day, my week - my Christmas.  

Christmas is a beautiful holiday.  A celebration of the birth of the Savior who brought salvation to all the world.  That when the world harbors evil all around we can have joy and peace within because of his great sacrifice.  

~My goal is to seek the Lord.~

Psalm 27:8 "My hearts says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek.

This week has been profound for my heart.  I haven't sought the Lord like I wish I would have.  But God has still been speaking to me, etching his words onto my heart.  Reminding me of who he his, and who I can be - no, who I am - in him.  

This year, when all the pressures and stresses overwhelm you - take it down to this simple truth.  

Seek the Lord.  

Be blessed my friends,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  

Brie