Letter of Acceptance and Matching Grant!!!!

The last week and a half has been crazy fun and crazy busy and I have had all these different ideas of things to write about in my head but no time to sit and write.  However, today we received incredibly exciting news!

Our Letter of Intent was sent to China I think October 10 *or very near there*, our Dossier was Logged In at the Chinese Consulate on October 30, and Today on December 29 we received our Letter Of Acceptance!  It is so exciting to see an official document from China with our names on it, our son’s name on it and the official Chinese seal all saying that we have been accepted to adopt this little guy. 

This gives us estimated dates of travel for most likely April, possibly March! 

Also, exciting news is that our Matching Grant has been met!  We have had so many generous donors at this time that we have been able to raise a little over $7,000 at this point! (and funds are still coming in!) so with our Matching Grant included that is $9,000.  God is so good and so faithful.  We know that he will provide the $16,000 we still need. 

All of the prayer and support has been so amazing to us!  We have just been floored by the number of incredibly generous friends and family that have stepped up to help us bring home Doron. 

THANK YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!

Finding rest.

It always amazes me how a little bit of time at the feet of Jesus can give you a whole new perspective.  It's truly refreshing.

Now that I think about it, between illnesses and vacations, it has been over a month since I've been to church.  I wish I could say that I've spent time worshiping at home, but I guess the busyness has gotten a hold of me.  The pressures were overwhelming me, and my focus just wasn't where it was supposed to be.

We were even late to church this morning and missed over half of worship, but still my heart and spirit were refreshed in just 2 songs.  That's how desperate my spirit was.

If you are wondering where your peace has gone; if your heart is desperate for rest - look no further than the rest that can be found in Jesus Christ.  Right now, alone at your computer you can find rest in Him.  All you have to do is ask.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

If you don't have a church home, and are in or around the Quad Cities, I would love to see you at our church, First Assembly of God in Bettendorf.

Crabby Pants

I have been a crabby pants all week.  (My husband likes to follow this statement up with something about a "crappy pants".  If you know him; this comes as no suprise, I'm sure.)

I thought the week would be great, last week was so hectic and busy that this week was bound to be fantastic.  But the cold virus (that we've been battling in a horrible cycle for 2 months) found our two year old and took her down with great force.  First with an ugly case of viral conjunctivitis, followed by not much sleeping and the inability to nap unless being held by her mother.  This should help you to understand the crabby pants.

In light of the crabby pants, I feel I should share a few lessons from this week.

Lesson #1: Jamberry nails are not as easy as they make them sound.

I bought some Jamberry's for my girls for their stockings this year.  I was so excited, since I have been wanting to try Jamberry for awhile.  When you buy 3 you get 1 free, so of course when they came I decided to try my free pair.  Round 1 was a major fail.  Apparently when heating the sticker thing before applying, you don't heat the adhesive side... that's a really bad idea as it drys out the adhesive.  Round 2 was okay... and Round 3 worked out fairly well.  My theory is that they give you the free pair because they know you're totally going to screw it up the first 3 times.

Lesson #2: Having a child with pink eye makes outings challenging. (as in you can't have any)

Nobody wants your kid's pink eye, even though its a relatively mild and simple disease.  It's actually less horrible than a bad cold, but if you have pink eye you have the plague.  Nobody wants to be around you or your kid.  So, think about drive through restaraunts and hiring a teenager to watch your child so you can take your test at church.  You know.. those things.  But it is so very cute to hear a two year old say "I have a pink eye!"

Lesson #3:  Studying for a final doesn't mean it's going to be easy.

We took our finals for our class at church on Wednesday night this week, and even though we studied, and I was pretty sure I was going to rock that test.  It wasn't easy.  I didn't rock that test.

Lesson #4:  When planning for a ballet rehearsal, or recital, or Christmas play dress rehearsal - don't let the stress get to you.

I am a perfectionist.  (May come as a legit surprise to many of you) But I really like to have my ducks in a row and to be honest... my ducks are so far out of their rows right now they're not even in the same pond.  So when recitals and performances come, my perfectionism FREAKS.  Like "You are not allowed to talk while I do your hair because it breaks my concentration" freak.  Poor kid.  (Aren't you glad I'm not YOUR parent??)  Anywho - I seem to notice that the other parents just.don't.care that much.  Why is this?  Didn't they read the note?   And when they see they did it wrong, they still don't care.  I want to be like them.  This is something I have to learn.  How do I just not care so much?

Lesson #5:  Some people are just not very nice.

We encountered on Friday a woman who thought she would take it upon herself to correct my child for doing something wrong.  Problem is; I was right there.  My child wasn't doing anything wrong.  I was taking care of the non-situation.  Mama Bear reared her head in protection and defense of her child.  My child was genuinely embarrased by the situation.  And I am still trying to figure out whether I handled it correctly or what I should have done differently.  It took me a solid 24 hours to cool down.  And I came to the realization that parenting is really hard.  I've talked the situation through with my child, and she is okay, but sadly I am not.  And I think I can remember this happening when I was a kid.  That my mom had those times when she just wanted to defend and protect us, and when someone else does that damage, beyond making sure our child is okay - you can't really undo the damage.  It's really hard.  I'm really sad that people don't know their boundaries or what is an appropriate and inappropriate way of speaking to a child (or anyone for that matter).

Lesson #6:  I need to give myself more grace for weeks like this one.

It was a big week, a lot happened.  Next week is destined to be bigger as we get closer to Christmas.  I'm going to need a lot of sleep and a lot of patience.  Thankfully we are starting to get over our colds, hopefully we can keep them away for the next few months.  And with a little more grace, and a lot more patience, and hopefully some good sleep - next week will be better than this week.

On the adoption front, we are in the painful process of waiting.  This is all normal, what we were told to expect, but it doesn't make these days seem any faster.  It is especially difficult as we know our little one is living without a family and we are here celebrating with our family, just one short.  Please pray for our son this Christmas.  We would love to hear news very soon that we will be bringing him home in a few months.  Pray for us too as we prepare our home and our family to bring him here to us.

Don't Forget Your Joy

As I sit here at 4:18, typing quickly before the children decide they are incapable of playing by themselves upstairs and they ambush me with pleas to play on the computer, I'm trying desperate to suck in these few moments of peace.  deep breaths, relax...

only 4 hrs till bed time, well technically only an hr and a half until we leave for church.  I can do this.  Praise God for church tonight (literally, we'll praise God and THANK YOU, GOD, SO MUCH FOR CHURCH NURSERY STAFF!!! Tonight, I may kiss you.)  Of course, our toddler isn't in love with your belly button and her pull up will be on the whole time, so I'm sure you'll tell me she was an angel, just like always - but for me - tonight - you're the angel.

It's been a day that started out so wonderful!  Zemirah pooped in the potty, TWICE! Both times on her own without any prompting from me.  And then we mixed cookie dough together, I even spoke kindly to my children the whole time.  It was 11:30 though and I needed to go pick up potatoes from a friend so that we could have dinner tonight.  So, instead of starting another batch of cookies, we headed over there.

When we got home, I forgot to ask Z to use the potty... and then, her bladder forgot to use the potty.  So her ballet leotard (the most prized of all clothing items) had to go in the wash, and Mommy had to clean up pee..off the couch...off the clean laundry...

Z went down for a nap.  I broke my "no movies before 3pm on school days" rule and let Am watch a movie so I could clean up the kitchen and take a shower.  But then I got sucked into Am's movie, Am went to the library with Grandma, I quick paid a bill and jumped in the shower.  But Z woke up, and joined me in the shower.  So I forgot to wash my body.  Then we cut out our cookies from the dough we made earlier in the day.  But POWDERED SUGAR IS JUST SO MUCH FUN, the kids thought.  So, Amariss would rub her hands in it and clap fervently to make it snow.  And mommy started to lose it.

The cookies are baked, today really hasn't been so awful.  Infact so many people have had worse days than me so far.  I was celebrating our wins; poop in the potty, cookies baked, some cookies broken so we get to eat them!  and then came the cry from upstairs.

MOOOOOMMMMMYYYYY!!!!! ZEMIRAH POOPED ON THE FLOOR!!!!!

I grabbed a pack of wipes and went upstairs and found a toddler squatting on the floor in full on poop position.  "Zizi, we don't poop on the floor, we poop in the potty."  I calmly stated.  I stood her up and guided her out of the way.  She stepped in it (oh no! I panicked inside) she stepped down.  Trying to stay as calm as possible I cleaned off her foot and sent her on her way to clean up the turds staring me in the face.  Before I knew it she sat down, and a messy poo butt smeared across more carpet.  My heart sank.  It's a never ending battle.  Then she said "Mommy, I peed on that blue chair!"  oh, great.

I sit here, calmed down, being fed plastic baby hands by the toddler who commited the above offense.  She's so sweet, so cute.  Asks adorable questions over and over and over again.  She brought me a baby in a box as a present.  If you could hear her sweet voice you would just smile with delight.  She is such a joy to our lives.  I can't let frustrating days, or frustrating moments steal away my joy in my position as a mother.

Sometimes it is so very hard.  I don't like finding myself on my knees cleaning up more pee, more poop, more spilled sugar or flour.  I don't like recleaning a mess because I wanted my oldest to learn how to clean it up the first time.  In a moment of frustration tonight I spouted off to my husband that I was just so jealous of him, getting to leave the house and have someone else clean up the big messes.  (in all honesty, poop really freaks him out, so it's probably for the best that this is usually my job)...

I don't want to lose my joy.  I don't want to lose the ache I felt in my heart during the first few days of this sweet girls life in my womb of pleading "God, please, let me keep her!!"

Toddler twos and threes can be so hard, so trying, so exhausting... but in there somewhere is a sweet kiss (but don't try for two!), a sweet smell, a sweet snuggle.  It might drive me nuts that she loves my bellybutton when I'm trying to run around the kitchen and she's following me with a hand up my shirt.  But, she only wants my bellybutton, and that is a sweet blessing.

She just found her wings that she's been looking for for days.  Her sweet voice "I found my wings! I found my wings!  I'm flying!  It's working! It's working!"  oh sweet Z, I love you.  

Remembering all that you have done....

We're at the start of the hustle and bustle season, the one that reminds you that there is no such thing as a quick trip to Walmart, or getting everything on your to-do list accomplished.  It's cold outside and blustery and I could stand in a hot shower until the hot water runs out and my back itches, but its so worth it just to feel WARM.

It's that season, the one without a free second to think about anything other than what you have to do today, tomorrow, and before then next Christmas party.  The one that makes me consider giving up homeschooling because I'm not sure how to do school when there is so much Christmas to do.

I do love this season, though.  It's full of crafts, dancing, singing, joy, and so much sugar.  All in celebration of something truly wonderful, the birth of Christ.

Today, though, as I stood in that shower much longer than I should have, I was remembering dear friends.  The ones that have moved away, or life has gotten between us.  Our friendship still runs deep but its been so long since we really talked or spent time together,  Many live too far away for this to happen, and a few, we just can't find time in our schedules.  But each of these dear friends have impacted my heart so deeply in so many ways.

I have the good friends who came up to visit impromptu, the day they heard I was miscarrying, the friends that went swimming with us while we waited for an impending miscarriage, the cousin that sent me cards for months after my first loss, just to let me know she was thinking of me.  There was the impromptu box of sunshine that appeared at my door two weeks after we lost Isaiah, and the blue and yellow flowers that showed up on his due date.  There are the friends that were with us when we started to miscarry our second baby, the ones that held us as we cried and prayed over us as we headed for home.

It is strange to me that these would be the things that come into my head while I'm in the midst of the Christmas season and in the midst of all our adoption preparations. But I guess I am reminded that people are what really matter.  Whatever impact you make for a family who has lost a child, you are making a lasting impact.  Whether your relationship with them is close or not, they will never forget your kind gesture.  A card, flowers, a meal.  They go the distance in healing a hurting heart.

If you know a family who is experiencing, or has experienced the loss of a baby, in pregnancy or soon after, do something to show that you care.  It doesn't have to be showy or expensive, even a simple card to show you're thinking of them can bring some level of comfort.

As always, follow these guidelines for things NOT to say and TO say when someone has lost a baby.