Our adoption plans have been put on a temporary hold. We had a bit of a hiccup that I can explain in further detail another time. At any rate, as we learned from the beginning, we have to trust God in all things - and we're learning to trust him here too. If you wouldn't mind praying for us that we would be pursuing God's plan for our family in all things.
I was thinking this morning about Facebook. That website that occupies so much of our precious time - the one I love and loathe at the same time.
I love the social aspect; the feeling that I can connect with dear friends that live far away, ask questions of like-minded moms (and offer opinions too), discuss childbirth and doula care, meet & cheer on women going through the trenches of infertility and miscarriage (these women have become very dear friends of mind as well), and stay up-to-date on the goings-on in the world. I fear that if it weren't for Facebook I would be woefully uninformed about important and some rather unimportant things.
But then there is the part I loathe about Facebook. Gossip, drama, time-suck, and that other thing - the part about my kids. Whether I'm writing about the good they did, the bad they did, or the CrAzY - I'm writing, rather publicly, about my kids - not me.
This hit me - rather poignantly - about two years ago. My oldest daughter was three and full of curiosity and energy. I don't know what I posted, probably something about the CrAzY - because there is a lot of crazy in this house. I probably wrote it to get it off my chest, or to relay the funny story to a friend - but as soon as I wrote it, I forgot about it. It was later that evening, that I ran into a Facebook friend who asked my daughter about the incident. My three year old looked at her, totally confused, as if to say "How do you know about that?"
And that's when it hit me:
When I write something on Facebook, I'm not just writing it to a friend - or a few friends. I'm writing it to over 400 people, many whom I don't know well, most who don't know my children at all. I don't want my kids to feel confused as to how people found out about their good, bad, or crazy.
I wish that two years ago, when I first realized that damage Facebook could do to my children, I would have followed my own instinct and quit posting about my kids. Instead of writing the funny things they say on Facebook, I should rather take that time and write them in a book. I have journals for both of my girls - but rarely write in them.
Someday these stories are going to make me laugh, if they haven't already, and I'm going to want to read about them. My guess is, my kids will want to read about them too. 29+ "like" 's are nice for today, but in a few weeks I'll forget what she said and Facebook doesn't transpose so well. I've tried.
So today after my one of my daughters makes me want to pull my hair out, or 'LOL', or 'smh' - I'm going to try and write it down, not for the world to see - but for her to see - when she's older, when it will make her laugh out loud, or shake her own head.
**I also want to clarify that because I don't write about my parenting fails, my children's mistakes, or all the negative stuff that can happen in life - it doesn't mean it doesn't happen here too. We're human too. But when I run into 'friends' I want them to see my kids for who they are, not how I portrayed them on Facebook.**
