Facebook Frustrations

It has been awhile since I've had a chance to sit down and write!  Life has been so busy, and honestly - enjoyable - that sitting down to write about it means I will probably miss something.  And when it comes to these growing girls, I don't want to miss a thing!

Our adoption plans have been put on a temporary hold.  We had a bit of a hiccup that I can explain in further detail another time.  At any rate, as we learned from the beginning, we have to trust God in all things - and we're learning to trust him here too.  If you wouldn't mind praying for us that we would be pursuing God's plan for our family in all things.

I was thinking this morning about Facebook.  That website that occupies so much of our precious time - the one I love and loathe at the same time.

I love the social aspect; the feeling that I can connect with dear friends that live far away, ask questions of like-minded moms (and offer opinions too), discuss childbirth and doula care, meet & cheer on women going through the trenches of infertility and miscarriage (these women have become very dear friends of mind as well), and stay up-to-date on the goings-on in the world.  I fear that if it weren't for Facebook I would be woefully uninformed about important and some rather unimportant things.

But then there is the part I loathe about Facebook.  Gossip, drama, time-suck, and that other thing - the part about my kids.  Whether I'm writing about the good they did, the bad they did, or the CrAzY - I'm writing, rather publicly, about my kids - not me.

This hit me - rather poignantly - about two years ago.  My oldest daughter was three and full of curiosity and energy.  I don't know what I posted, probably something about the CrAzY - because there is a lot of crazy in this house.  I probably wrote it to get it off my chest, or to relay the funny story to a friend - but as soon as I wrote it, I forgot about it.  It was later that evening, that I ran into a Facebook friend who asked my daughter about the incident.  My three year old looked at her, totally confused, as if to say "How do you know about that?"  

And that's when it hit me:
When I write something on Facebook, I'm not just writing it to a friend - or a few friends.  I'm writing it to over 400 people, many whom I don't know well, most who don't know my children at all.  I don't want my kids to feel confused as to how people found out about their good, bad, or crazy.

I wish that two years ago, when I first realized that damage Facebook could do to my children, I would have followed my own instinct and quit posting about my kids.  Instead of writing the funny things they say on Facebook, I should rather take that time and write them in a book.  I have journals for both of my girls - but rarely write in them.

Someday these stories are going to make me laugh, if they haven't already, and I'm going to want to read about them.  My guess is, my kids will want to read about them too.  29+ "like" 's are nice for today, but in a few weeks I'll forget what she said and Facebook doesn't transpose so well.  I've tried.

So today after my one of my daughters makes me want to pull my hair out, or 'LOL', or 'smh' - I'm going to try and write it down, not for the world to see - but for her to see - when she's older, when it will make her laugh out loud, or shake her own head. 

**I also want to clarify that because I don't write about my parenting fails, my children's mistakes, or all the negative stuff that can happen in life - it doesn't mean it doesn't happen here too.  We're human too.  But when I run into 'friends' I want them to see my kids for who they are, not how I portrayed them on Facebook.**    

Step-by-step...

I knew I would blog this week, there is so much to say, but I haven't known how to say it.

Really, there hasn't been a whole lot to report.  I made a surprise trip to Arkansas two weekends ago to surprise my mom for her birthday!  (and if I was really great at taking pictures I'd have some for you, but wrangling two kids by myself for a 12 hr drive was enough).

On our way to Arkansas we got the news that our application had been accepted by the agency and we were ready to move on with the next step!  That step was signing a lot of paperwork...

Officially, the paperwork has been signed and mailed, and according to the United States Postal Service should arrive at our agency's head office on Thursday.  Woohoo!

I really feel God's hand in all of this.  Down to every last tiny, seemingly unimportant detail like our paperwork arriving on Thursday, November 21.

A little over 6 months ago we miscarried a little boy, Isaiah.  Many of you have seen our posts and have shown us so much support.  Amazingly, our hearts have healed so well from this loss, which I know is nothing short of God's divine goodness.  We were blessed to have a memorial service for him, and because of this, his loss helped bring closure to us from 7 years of miscarriages.

We had begun looking into adoption in January of this year, long before we knew we were expecting.  With our pregnancy we put adoption off to the side for awhile.  When we lost Isaiah, and were ready to pursue adoption again, I knew I would not be fully ready until we had passed and mourned his due date.  This Wednesday, November 20, is Isaiah's due date.

He sees us, he hears us.  He knows exactly who we are, and where we are in our journey.  God does not take a single thing for granted.  

Sunday, one of our pastor's reminded us that "Our God takes impossibilities and makes them possibilities."  That is so true.  From step one he has taken what seems impossible to us and opened a door and made it a possibility.  He has closed doors that we may have wanted to step through, knowing it wasn't the right plan for us.  We are completely trusting Him as we take one more step toward our possibility.

Today we also remember our 2nd miscarriage.  Our little baby, Tiny, was miscarried on November 18, 2006.  Sometimes I wonder when I will stop remembering these anniversaries, but my heart feels that as long as we live, we won't.  These little ones, a part of our lives for an incredibly too short amount of time, are a part of us.  We lost Tiny while at a FamilyLife Marriage Conference, we were a little over 6 weeks along.

So, this week is strangely bittersweet.  We mourn a lot of loss but look forward with tempered anticipation for all that is to come.

The Garage Sale

Our first adoption fundraiser was last Saturday!  We had a garage sale to help raise funds and it was so exciting.  My very good friends spent Wednesday and Thursday at my mother-in-laws house tagging/organizing/sorting all in preparation for Friday afternoon and Saturday.  And my mother-in-law deserves a medal of honor for watching my kids AND my friends' kids all day Wednesday and Thursday!!

There were so many generous friends who donated so much to this sale!  There is no way we would have done so well without all of you!  We had a full garage and full driveway with everything from nearly every size of children's clothing, to toys, to maternity clothes, to housewares, to a huge toolbox and fencing!

It was amazing.  

Everything did not sell :( but we are going to pack everything back up and try again for the spring city-wide!  We might have a baby by then (who knows?) but even if we do, we will still be paying for this adoption, so all the funds will still go towards our adoption fund.  

International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

October 15 is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Tonight at 7 pm a candle will be lit in our home remembering our 7 babies, as well as those who have been lost too early throughout the world.

When you lose a baby a piece of your heart goes with them.

There is so much going on in our lives right now, but I cannot forget our littlest ones.

This morning I woke up and didn't even realize it was October 15.  To be honest I'd forgotten about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day.  But I had this deep desire to wear my new shirt.  It says "I'll hold you in my heart, until I can hold you in my arms"  I love how God did that for me today.

I'm holding each baby securely in my heart until I can hold them in my arms.

Remember these sweet babies by lighting a candle at 7pm tonight.  

Training days...

The song above is Oceans by Hillsong United.

I can't help but feel like this is where we are right now, where we have been so many times before.  I wish I could say that I have answers right now, but I don't.  Aaron and I both had our blood drawn a little over two weeks ago and we're playing the waiting game with the lab.

I'm not a good wait-er.

So far, we know one thing.  We will adopt.  The logistics haven't been figured out though.

I want to add before I go on that I read an awesome article today about adoption.  So to clear up any misunderstandings, we are choosing to adopt because we want to adopt!  This isn't our last resort, this isn't a "have to" decision.  We always knew that we would adopt, even before we started having children, we just didn't know when, where, or how.  Now we know, this is the time.  The where and how are still coming together.

At this - the first stage - we are still making a lot of decisions.  We have a lot of adoption options ahead of us and we are praying for guidance.

Would you please pray with us?  We need lots of guidance!  There are so many decisions to make and we know that we will be taking those first steps soon.

I'm learning to trust, more and more, throughout this process.  It seems that lately we only know the next step and at many times we don't entirely know what the next step looks like - we just know we have to take it.

I was reading in Jeremiah yesterday and this verse really spoke to me:

Jeremiah 12:5 

"If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses?  If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"

It just reminded me that all of this, all we've been through up to this point - everything - it's training us.  Someday our lives will be even more confusing.  There may be a point when we are making even more decisions and having to rely even more on God for direction.  This point in our lives is not the end, there is more.  This is training.

When I look ahead and think "There's MORE?!" I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and even a little defeated.  But when I look back and see what God has brought us through, how we have grown, changed, developed - I'm encouraged.  He's growing me!  This is hard, but He is growing me - and I'll be better equipped to handle more and different!

We are also beginning to raise funds for our adoption.  We are hosting our first Kellett Family Adoption Garage Sale on October 12!  If you have any items you would like to donate (and you know us personally)  or would just like to shop and support our adoption we would love to have you come by!

You can email me for details or follow me on facebook for details.  (Again, if you know us personally)

Choosing Joy

This morning started out rough.  Actually, no - it didn't.  It started out great!  Tiny slept all night long, which is pretty rare, so I woke up well rested and ready for the day.

But then I lost track of time, and made an unfortunate discovery.  I had made a mistake a few months ago, that I didn't find out about until this morning and it ended up costing us money.  I really hate it when I make mistakes, especially financial ones.  So to say I was in a sour mood would be true.

We were on our way to Noodle's ballet class this morning and all I could think was "What else could happen today?  This day is just going to stink!"

Then I gently reminded myself to choose joy.  It wasn't an easy choice.  I kept reminding myself of all my failures and ways that I was pretty sure I wouldn't measure up today. But I prayed, I hashed it out with Jesus a bit - not wanting to choose joy, more or less forcing myself into it.

 To be honest, I didn't measure up today, I rarely do.

But I decided that at the end of this day, I would choose joy.  I wouldn't sit around and think about how terrible I did at being a great mom, or how my house doesn't look any better than it did when we started the day (and actually it probably looks worse), or that school wasn't as organized as I thought, or that we ended up eating leftovers instead of making a real dinner.

Truth is, today wasn't a stellar day for me and tomorrow probably won't be either.

But I've got joy.  I see love in my children's faces and I delight in their laughter and voices.  I kept calm when my patience was tested today, I let my daughter throw herself on the piles of laundry on the couch, and tried not to think about what I should really be doing with that laundry...

We did school; with jewels that my daughter wanted to use for a craft.  We'll eat dinner; not what was planned and we will enjoy this evening and enjoy each other.

Some days do not go like you plan them to, but that is okay.  At the end of the day I chose joy.  I messed up.  I made mistakes.

But there is a new day coming and today I'm not going to beat myself up over my shortcomings.

Any of you have days when you have to choose to be joyful?

The Men In My Life

A few days ago a good friend of mine posted a campaign on Facebook to uplift the good men in our lives.  I haven't yet updated any of my status's to reflect how much I support her campaign.  I thought about doing so, but I just have so many things to say that I thought I'd compile it into a blog post instead.




The first man I ever met was my Dad.  He is an incredible guy, and if you've met him - you know exactly what I'm saying.  Hard worker to the core, loves Jesus with everything in him and cares deeply about the people in his life.  This year he and my mom celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary, and he is more in love with her every day and it is evident to everyone around him.  He is helpful to his neighbors and friends and loves to encourage people.  My dad never yelled at us but was firm and raised us diligently to love God and honor him.  He is an incredible man. I could go on for hours.





The next men I met in my life and truly love are my older brothers.  And of course when I met them they were just 5 and 3 but my mom tells me often the things they used to say over me.  The first story I hear often is when I was just a baby laying in my crib and my brothers leaned over and asked mom "When do we get to play with her?"  and another story about my brothers saying "We'll have to pray that she grows up to ask Jesus into her heart."  I have incredible older brothers.  They were very protective over me growing up and although we were siblings and had our moments they were brief and our house was full of much love.  These guys have grown up to be husbands who love their wives and it is evident when you meet them.  I'm sure they are more fiercely protective over their wives and children than they were over me.  I love spending time with them and being around them because they are loving and kind and hard workers.  Just like my dad.






And then there is my husband - He is amazing.  I truly got the cream of the crop with this one.  I have a husband who loves God with all that is within him and loves his family.  He cares about the spiritual health of our family and will pray with me every morning before leaving for work, even when I'm sleeping and don't realize he did (he sometimes tells me the funny things I say during these non-awake times).  He works hard to come home and spend time with us, because being with his family is what he enjoys most.  He is respected and liked by his coworkers and everyone who has met him loves him.  He is always joyful and always loving.  He thinks the best of people and does not judge them.  He makes me feel taken care of, loved, appreciated and valued.  He sees our children as the precious gifts that they are and he strives to raise them in a way that honors God.  My husband puts others needs above his own and when he tells you he will pray for you, he will, passionately.  He is genuine and honest (seriously, he will not tell a lie or cheat at any game.) He is a blessing to those around him chooses not to over commit so that he can diligently follow through on his commitments.  He takes his job as the leader of our home very seriously, and ensures that all the members of his home are taken care of and loved.  We are truly blessed to have this man.




There are so many other characteristics I could say about these men in my life, but this short summary will have to do for now.  I am so thankful for the unique role they have played in my life and for the blessing I have been given to have a loving father, brothers, and husband.  I do not take these gifts for granted.

I love you guys!