Quick with my come-back (which almost never happens) I replied "I'm resolving to have a baby this year!" .... because you know, I'm pregnant. Everyone laughed... and that led to the rest of us talking about how we don't like to make New Year's Resolutions because they rarely get followed through on... and instead we like to just know what we hope to accomplish this year...
However, the next morning was Sunday and we got ourselves ready and went to Mom and Dad's church. It was such a refreshing service, probably especially to me because in the past 2 months I think I've been in 2 actual church services, between my trip to California, followed by Thanksgiving, followed by preschool class at church, followed by Christmas traveling.... etc. etc. etc.... Things have been crazy, and I've missed worshiping with other believers.
Anyway, the pastor began to preach... and immediately I was convicted. I think he started with something like this - "If you could ask for one thing what would it be?" and I knew exactly what I would ask for... healthy children. That's literally what I said in my head. A noble choice, sure... but my heart knew it wasn't the most godly... Satan instantly started attacking me with thoughts of "if you were more godly would you have thought up something more spiritual.... if you had been spending the time with God that you should be you would know the right answer to this question...." and so on, and so forth....
So where was the pastor going with this... stick with me...
Psalm 27, a passage I memorized a few years ago because of its significance in my life, vs 4
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
And that got me thinking...
That's what I want... that's really what I want for my children...
I wanted healthy children, but realistically, God never told us we'd always be healthy on earth, or that life would always be easy....
What I truly want for my children is that they would dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of their life, that they would gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple....
That's what I really want for my children.
And how can I spend this year guiding Am (and her new sister to come) in that way?
First of all, I want to teach Am to seek God by showing her her parents seeking God.
Secondly, I want to teach Am to seek God by teaching her God's word. She can't read yet, but she is at an age where she can memorize like its nobody's business. When I was a kid I had this capability too, and instead of watching her memorize movie lines... (which she inherited from me).... I want to teach her to memorize scripture. That the word of God would be hidden in her heart... so that my young little duckling would know the word of God because she often times repeats it to herself when she needs it!!
Thirdly, I want to teach Am to seek God by teaching her how to learn from God's word. So that all those verses she hides away in her heart wouldn't just be spoken words, but that they would be practical and applicable to her life. That when she grows up she doesn't boast about how much scripture she knows for awards or "cool" factor among her church friends, but she would be thankful for the scripture she knows because it carried her through her toughest times.
Fourth, I want to teach my daughter to pray. Lets just be honest... this cute little girl doesn't like to pray. I have to admit I feel super guilty whenever my friends tell me stories about their munchkins praying before bed, before dinner, or whenever... This one... not so much. However, every once in awhile... (great once in awhile) she'll tell us its her turn to pray... and then I know... she's listening, she's watching, and someday she'll bust out in prayer. In the meantime, my husband and I will continue to model prayer in everything we do whether before bed, before meals, when someone is hurt, when we can't find what we need... wherever we are being constant communication with God.
And Finally, We want to teach our daughter to seek God through fasting. Lets be real candid. My husband and I are not super good at fasting... as in, it doesn't happen very often. More for my husband than for me. And this area of fasting can be tricky as its not something you want to do publicly and pridefully. However, how can we teach our young daughter to seek God while leaving out this important principal of fasting? More so, how can we become better at fasting so that we are even in any way able to model this for our offspring? Children learn by example... and frankly when it comes to fasting, my example sucks. How can I present a better model of fasting... especially while pregnant? I don't actually know. but I'm going to pray about it, seek the Father's face on this issue... and see what he tells me.
So, in essence, I do have a New Year's Resolution.
I am resolving to parent better. To be a mother who teaches my children to seek God, while I myself continue to learn to seek God more.
Amen.
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