Reflections

I was putting Am down for a nap today, an often rare occurance now that she's 4, and took sometime to just reflect. 

While I reflected, little munchkin kicked away in my tummy and I marveled at being pregnant.  And then like a bright flashing light it hit me..  I'm just 6 weeks away from entering my 3rd trimester.  I'm litereally half way through the 2nd trimester. 

I know, you're thinking.. duh, that's what 22 weeks means, but it just seems so surreal.  Like last night I went to the bathroom and when I wiped I checked for blood.  I've been doing this since the day I got pregnant, and then I reminded myself, again - that if there was going to be blood I would probably have had some serious contractions. 

Just a couple of weeks ago I got comfortable with the idea that I'm pregnant and started getting excited.  It happened while my mom and I walked around Babies R Us, a store I loved when Am was a baby and I had lots of hope for my 2nd.  A store I'd come to avoid, just like maternity clothing sections and baby aisles, after the reality of loss and infertility hit us. 

In my surreality, which has been accented by my husband wanting to schedule our babymoon before I get "cranky", as he put it, and realizing that our schedules are packed for the next 3 months, and realizing in 3 months I'll be having a baby...  I'm getting a little overwhelmed.  Like I can't wait until April for my nesting instinct to kick in... I'm going to have to force it into high gear now, while I still have some time. 

This place is the pits, mostly because of the additional christmas presents that have so gloriously graced my living room, and because "catching up" on laundry never actually happens.

So for the baby, I'd say she's growing, because I can't stop eating.  So, I'm going to go eat again and then maybe tackle that big pile of laundry. 

Praying for all of you waiting for your babies.  You are constantly on my mind, my heart is with you while you wait.