It's hard to really describe the transition our family has gone through in the last 4 weeks. It doesn't feel like we were landing in Nanjing four weeks ago. It doesn't feel like the bus window next to my daughter was shattered while we were driving 4 weeks ago.
Or that we met this guy:
But crazy, it totally did!
We went from a family of 4 to a family of 5 overnight. But the whole big strange feeling of it all didn't hit until we got home and really were altogether as a family of 5. In China we were just 4 of us, and Z was represented with a different toddler, but at home we have two toddlers and a big kid and figuring out our new roles has been tricky.
I anticipated the transition for Doron to be difficult but I didn't anticipate it to feel so strange and forced and first. In China it felt natural and normal, almost like this was our new forever but Z wasn't there so we knew that it couldn't be. But since we'd only ever had 1 toddler at a time having 2 was unknown territory. When we got home falling back into our patterns and roles with Z was easy, we were familiar and comfortable again, but figuring out where Doron fits is still something we are working on. The first week home it felt like we were babysitting someone else's child.
I don't like the way that sounds, but it is the only way to describe the awkwardness of coming home. I want to paint adoption as this beautiful picture of a puzzle falling into place to create a perfect ending but sometimes the pieces don't fit right when you put together a puzzle. Sometimes you put the wrong piece in a place for awhile until you realize it's not quite right and you have to rearrange. Maybe that's the best way to describe it. The first week home was awkward, the second week home has been much better.
The day Doron was placed in our arms was a whirlwind. We arrived at the Center for Foreign Related Adoption Services about 9am and had to wait until the doors opened around 9:30. Just as the doors opened and our guide walked in a car pulled up and out came several women and all of our children. We were stopped in our tracks wondering if we should follow our guide or get our children from the orphanage staff who had just arrived.
We had been warned that our reaction on Gotcha Day might not be what we anticipated it would be and I have to be honest, as many times as I had pictured how this day would go - not one idea was what really happened. As I was taking pictures of another family getting their baby, suddenly Aaron was saying "Gabe, Gabe Gabe!" and I turned around and Doron was already in Aaron's arms - it all happened so fast.
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| Our very first picture together |
All of our pictures from Gotcha Day and the next day, Adoption Day are super blurry. Oh well, that is life isn't it? Doron did so well with us from the very start. He sat happily in a chair and looked around with curiousity. He smiled and shared his snacks with us, it was really a wonderful beginning.
We have spent the last 4 weeks getting to know each other. It is so strange to think about giving birth to a new baby, all they've ever known is you, but when you bring home a child through adoption they have a whole other world they are familiar with and just as they are new to us, we are new to them. It is a learning process and not always an easy one.
There is so much I could write or say about our time in China but most days there is just no way to put into words all that I think and feel. Sometimes I don't think you want to know what I think and feel!
I am hoping that I will still be blogging semi-regularly (or as regular as you could call how often I have blogged up until this point), but having 3 kids, two of them toddlers, is more challenging than having 2 - so I make no promises.
Thank you so much to all of you who have stayed so involved in our journey and have been praying for us all the way through. You are such a huge blessing to our family. Please continue to pray for us as we navigate these next few weeks, months, and years.
Love,
Brie
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