Some days my heart can't help but hurt.
I don't know why. Maybe it is the rain just like the day of his service, the unusually chilly weather for early May, wearing the same sweatshirt as the day we lost him, the abundance of pregnancy announcements and photos on facebook... Lots of little things can all add up, and I ache to hold my baby.
Strange to say, isn't it? If he were still here I would feel him moving around my tummy. I'd be tired, taking this opportunity to lay down and marvel at the way God creates a child inside his mother. So, it is very strange to say that I ache to hold my baby. I wouldn't just be holding him now, I'd be enveloping him - surrounding him with my whole person, nurturing him as he grows and becomes all that he needs to be to be healthy outside of me.
Instead, I take a few deep breaths, listen to some sweet songs, and weep. Then I pick up my feet, and move on.
Each day I move on...
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