Road construction season has begun and my area has certainly not been excluded. I drove home tonight and as I neared our interchange... or whatever its called... The orange cones with reflector lights alerted me to the changes ahead. It's just a mess. At night time, its difficult to see where the road ends and begins... all I can see are orange cones everywhere and I almost don't know where I'm going until I'm right up on it. Its like you're operating a maze with your car at 55 mph. I think the speed limit should be reduced.
That's how infertility feels to me. I'm confused. My opinions and decisions change moment to moment based on what I see or read or hear. I think I know what I'm doing only to find out I have no idea what I'm doing. I wish everything would slow down so I can get a clearer understanding of what is going on. Time keeps going when I wish it would stop so I can give my life a chance to catch up with everyone elses. Or stop so that we can stay in these perfect moments where everything is still going just as we had planned.
But just like the roads need to be changed, my life is going to encounter changes to my plans. And just like we take this road construction in stride and bemoan the lengthy process towards completion, we will take this instride as well. Unlike the road construction I will strive to enjoy this time, understanding that there is much to learn while we wait.
There are always things to learn.
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