I am so excited that November is here! Thanksgiving, Christmas, Family, Food... and it is National Adoption Month!
Last year we spent this month anxiously awaiting our trip to China! We knew Doron would be ours but there were so many unknowns surrounding when and how. Here we are, home almost 6 months and Doron is doing great. We have some bumpy days, to put it mildy but right now as I type this Aaron and Doron and laughing and giggling. If you have heard our son's giggle, you know, it is contagious and adorable.
To start off National Adoption Month I want to encourage you to seek out organizations that promote and aid adoptions and also ways that you can make a difference in the foster and adoption community.
I am going to do my best (pending kids and holidays) to promote ways you can help the adoption community all month long! This may mean sharing links to other posts, but I encourage you to please check them out. They are all a valuable resource and can help you make a difference in a child's or a family's life.
Today I'm going to send you over to Holt International's Blog Top 5 Myths About Special Needs Adoption.
Blessings,
Brie
11.01.2015
10.15.2015
Homeschooling Honesty.
All day I've had these ideas of what I could blog about, none of them overtly inspirational or positive.
Earlier this week I found myself so overwhelmed with the weight of homeschooling. The responsibility of homeschooling. All the questions came flooding over me. What am I doing? Is this really the right thing for our family? Am I supposed to be doing this? Is it supposed to be this hard? Will she ever learn diligence and good work ethic and how to make and stick to a schedule? Will she be educated enough to go to college? Be a doctor or a chemist? Will I have succeeded in educating her to be whatever she wants to be?
And then all those things that I hold over my head came rushing back. I'm not very organized (I used to be, but not anymore. Not with three kids). I'm not very diligent. I don't have a good work ethic. I hate doing the dishes. and the laundry. And I don't like to clean. {This is where my mom would say she didn't do a good job teaching me, but it isn't that at all.}
All of the sudden I realized that if I screw up at home, there won't be a school either to pick up my broken pieces and teach my children what it means to turn in an assignment on time and completed. There won't ever by bells and time constraints. There won't ever by deadlines or directional plotting to make sure you can make it to your locker, the bathroom, and your class on the fourth floor in 3 very short minutes.
And it weighed on me. All of it. All week. All week as we barely got our school work accomplished while I snuggled a healing boy, tried to keep him calm but the other two busy. A difficult week when I tried so hard to show my struggling three year old just how important she is, but I hurt the way her eyes say she feels looked over.
Today I sat in the ballet waiting area, unshowered with pony-tailed hair, my eyes revealing my weariness, I turned to the seasoned mom next to me and asked "Do you ever feel like 'what am I doing??" Her response was just what a weary mom needed. "Oh yah, all the time. I've felt like that since the beginning." -- solidarity.
We got in the car and drove home. As Amariss belted out the sound of music and Doron somehow fell asleep through it all, I drifted in my own thoughts. I saw a man on a corner, holding two different sodas in each hand, waiting for the lights to change. And I thought briefly "I wish I could just sit on the couch and drink two different sodas and binge watch Netflix for like 2 days." But then I shook my head, no, not really. I would want to clean the house first... and by the time I finished that I would want to be with my kids again.
But I reminded myself of why we're in this. Why we homeschool. Public schools are great, I think they have fantastic teachers who work so hard to make a difference in the lives of kids. I'm so thankful for all the friends I have who pour so much of themselves into teaching little ones. I cannot imagine how difficult this is.
I just read through our vision statement. We wrote this before we started homeschooling Am in Kindergarten. And I don't know that I have read it since. But another seasoned homeschool mom told me 'Write out a vision statement and read it often, because you will need to remember why you are doing this'. Despite all of Am's advancements and achievements just in this past quarter of school, the hard days make you want to throw it all away in an instant. And while I haven't read our vision statement in 3 years, I can see that by reading it we are still holding to it. And I am so thankful for that.
I am so thankful that this really hard job of educating our children is worth it. I am so thankful that on really hard days, really hard weeks, and sometimes really hard months; there is still purpose in all of this. And I am thankful that for this time and this season, God has shown us time and time again that we are doing what he has called us to do right now.
Blessings my friends.
Brie
Earlier this week I found myself so overwhelmed with the weight of homeschooling. The responsibility of homeschooling. All the questions came flooding over me. What am I doing? Is this really the right thing for our family? Am I supposed to be doing this? Is it supposed to be this hard? Will she ever learn diligence and good work ethic and how to make and stick to a schedule? Will she be educated enough to go to college? Be a doctor or a chemist? Will I have succeeded in educating her to be whatever she wants to be?
And then all those things that I hold over my head came rushing back. I'm not very organized (I used to be, but not anymore. Not with three kids). I'm not very diligent. I don't have a good work ethic. I hate doing the dishes. and the laundry. And I don't like to clean. {This is where my mom would say she didn't do a good job teaching me, but it isn't that at all.}
All of the sudden I realized that if I screw up at home, there won't be a school either to pick up my broken pieces and teach my children what it means to turn in an assignment on time and completed. There won't ever by bells and time constraints. There won't ever by deadlines or directional plotting to make sure you can make it to your locker, the bathroom, and your class on the fourth floor in 3 very short minutes.
And it weighed on me. All of it. All week. All week as we barely got our school work accomplished while I snuggled a healing boy, tried to keep him calm but the other two busy. A difficult week when I tried so hard to show my struggling three year old just how important she is, but I hurt the way her eyes say she feels looked over.
Today I sat in the ballet waiting area, unshowered with pony-tailed hair, my eyes revealing my weariness, I turned to the seasoned mom next to me and asked "Do you ever feel like 'what am I doing??" Her response was just what a weary mom needed. "Oh yah, all the time. I've felt like that since the beginning." -- solidarity.
We got in the car and drove home. As Amariss belted out the sound of music and Doron somehow fell asleep through it all, I drifted in my own thoughts. I saw a man on a corner, holding two different sodas in each hand, waiting for the lights to change. And I thought briefly "I wish I could just sit on the couch and drink two different sodas and binge watch Netflix for like 2 days." But then I shook my head, no, not really. I would want to clean the house first... and by the time I finished that I would want to be with my kids again.
But I reminded myself of why we're in this. Why we homeschool. Public schools are great, I think they have fantastic teachers who work so hard to make a difference in the lives of kids. I'm so thankful for all the friends I have who pour so much of themselves into teaching little ones. I cannot imagine how difficult this is.
I just read through our vision statement. We wrote this before we started homeschooling Am in Kindergarten. And I don't know that I have read it since. But another seasoned homeschool mom told me 'Write out a vision statement and read it often, because you will need to remember why you are doing this'. Despite all of Am's advancements and achievements just in this past quarter of school, the hard days make you want to throw it all away in an instant. And while I haven't read our vision statement in 3 years, I can see that by reading it we are still holding to it. And I am so thankful for that.
I am so thankful that this really hard job of educating our children is worth it. I am so thankful that on really hard days, really hard weeks, and sometimes really hard months; there is still purpose in all of this. And I am thankful that for this time and this season, God has shown us time and time again that we are doing what he has called us to do right now.
Blessings my friends.
Brie
9.29.2015
Orphan Sunday
I originally sat down here to update you all on our family. What has happened in the last 6 weeks, what has changed, what hasn't. But as I sat down and got lost in the perusing of other blogs, one thing became clear to me.
This journey of life we are all on isn't all about me. It's about the love of Jesus Christ, the heart he has for hurting people. There is a desperation within all of us for something more, something deeper than just being. Why are we here? What is my purpose? These questions plague so many and without the hope of Jesus these questions remain unanswered. We will always feel void, always feel empty.
Lately my heart has been turned most deeply towards foster care. The foster care system in my city, and all of those around. I have found myself connected with people in strange ways whose heart has also been turned towards the same call. I find myself here as a mama (a very tired and busy mama), juggling my three precious babies and aching to know why is it that babies and children cannot have safe and loving homes to grow up in.
Last year my husband and I introduced Orphan Sunday at our church. With just one week preparation before the day we were able to print our pamphlets of information for ways for people to get involved in their community. But that first step is always the hardest one.
Here we are, almost October, and Orphan Sunday is coming up on November 8, 2015. Now, do you have to wait for a special sunday once a year to make a difference for a child in need of a home?
ABSOLUTEY NOT! Please, please please... do not take this as a cry for one day awareness. But one focused day of awareness might spark a small change that can turn to a bigger change and a bigger change and a bigger change until there are no more children in need of families. Until there are no more little ones longing for a safe house to sleep in tonight.
James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
www.orphansunday.org
www.lifesongfororphans.org
www.cafo.org
www.hopefororphans.org
This journey of life we are all on isn't all about me. It's about the love of Jesus Christ, the heart he has for hurting people. There is a desperation within all of us for something more, something deeper than just being. Why are we here? What is my purpose? These questions plague so many and without the hope of Jesus these questions remain unanswered. We will always feel void, always feel empty.
Lately my heart has been turned most deeply towards foster care. The foster care system in my city, and all of those around. I have found myself connected with people in strange ways whose heart has also been turned towards the same call. I find myself here as a mama (a very tired and busy mama), juggling my three precious babies and aching to know why is it that babies and children cannot have safe and loving homes to grow up in.
Last year my husband and I introduced Orphan Sunday at our church. With just one week preparation before the day we were able to print our pamphlets of information for ways for people to get involved in their community. But that first step is always the hardest one.
Here we are, almost October, and Orphan Sunday is coming up on November 8, 2015. Now, do you have to wait for a special sunday once a year to make a difference for a child in need of a home?
ABSOLUTEY NOT! Please, please please... do not take this as a cry for one day awareness. But one focused day of awareness might spark a small change that can turn to a bigger change and a bigger change and a bigger change until there are no more children in need of families. Until there are no more little ones longing for a safe house to sleep in tonight.
James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
www.orphansunday.org
www.lifesongfororphans.org
www.cafo.org
www.hopefororphans.org
8.13.2015
How Will They Remember Me?
The other day Doron had an owie on his toe. It was tiny, but toddler worthy of a bandaid. You know, a toddler can convince you to put a bandaid on a scar...
I scooped my little boy up, wrapped him in my arms, consoled him with all the words of affirmation he was looking for, settled him into the bathroom with a hug, applied neosporin, and lovingly wrapped that bandaid around his toe. I figured the bandaid would stay on for about 2 minutes but the love he felt from me caring would last all day.
As I did this, I felt like a really good mom. I thought, this is how I want to be remembered by my kids. And I thought about all the great memories I have of my mom. How she would sit in the kitchen and eat grapes and listen to Dr. Dobson every day at 11:30am. And how on her days off she would fold laundry and bake cookies and meet us at the door with a smile and a hug. In the summer she would sit on the porch swing and watch us play while drinking iced tea in our plastic blue cups. She would sit at the piano and play hymns and sing and tell us that she really wasn't that good at playing piano - but she was always better than me.
And that's how I want my kids to remember me. To have a bank in their mind full of great memories of a mom that loved them and love to be with them. My mom never had a phone in her hand, because ours was still attached to the wall and other than talking, you couldn't do anything cool with it. Even now my mom really only uses her phone to talk to people, sometimes text. We always knew that when mom was talking to us, she was really talking to us. There was no wondering if she was preoccupied with another conversation on the side. She wasn't always looking at her phone. When she helped us with homework she helped us with homework. When she stayed up until midnight waiting for us to be home by curfew and then chatted for another hour afterwards - she was really present, tired but present.
I want to be present for my kids.
Contrast my vision of awesomeness with a little reality check. Yesterday morning my adorably grown up seven year old cooked scrambled eggs and pancakes for everyone once again (frozen pancakes, toaster oven reheated). She said "I'm the mom!" I laughed and questioned "Oh, what am I then?" her reply stung, but you can't get hurt by childhood honesty - she replied "You're the kid that's always on your phone."
And is it true? kind of. Am I doing something important on my phone? maybe. Am I conversing with a friend? probably. Do my children know that they are still the most important thing in my life? I don't think so. Not when my phone is always around. Not when I don't look at them while they are talking to me. Not when they don't know what I'm doing on my phone, but it must be important since I'm always looking at it.
Hmmmm, do I need to throw my phone away? No. But when I sit down and have a big long talk with my girls about active listening, I have to ask myself 'Am I actively listening to others? Or have my children gained their poor listening and poor communication skills from a lifetime of watching me?'
Food for thought tonight. It is pretty funny how a year and a half ago, before I got my first smart phone, this never would have even been an issue. My phone had no value then other than talking and reading a text here and there.
Now, I have to learn how to break all of the bad habits - and protect my family.
I scooped my little boy up, wrapped him in my arms, consoled him with all the words of affirmation he was looking for, settled him into the bathroom with a hug, applied neosporin, and lovingly wrapped that bandaid around his toe. I figured the bandaid would stay on for about 2 minutes but the love he felt from me caring would last all day.
As I did this, I felt like a really good mom. I thought, this is how I want to be remembered by my kids. And I thought about all the great memories I have of my mom. How she would sit in the kitchen and eat grapes and listen to Dr. Dobson every day at 11:30am. And how on her days off she would fold laundry and bake cookies and meet us at the door with a smile and a hug. In the summer she would sit on the porch swing and watch us play while drinking iced tea in our plastic blue cups. She would sit at the piano and play hymns and sing and tell us that she really wasn't that good at playing piano - but she was always better than me.
And that's how I want my kids to remember me. To have a bank in their mind full of great memories of a mom that loved them and love to be with them. My mom never had a phone in her hand, because ours was still attached to the wall and other than talking, you couldn't do anything cool with it. Even now my mom really only uses her phone to talk to people, sometimes text. We always knew that when mom was talking to us, she was really talking to us. There was no wondering if she was preoccupied with another conversation on the side. She wasn't always looking at her phone. When she helped us with homework she helped us with homework. When she stayed up until midnight waiting for us to be home by curfew and then chatted for another hour afterwards - she was really present, tired but present.
I want to be present for my kids.
Contrast my vision of awesomeness with a little reality check. Yesterday morning my adorably grown up seven year old cooked scrambled eggs and pancakes for everyone once again (frozen pancakes, toaster oven reheated). She said "I'm the mom!" I laughed and questioned "Oh, what am I then?" her reply stung, but you can't get hurt by childhood honesty - she replied "You're the kid that's always on your phone."
And is it true? kind of. Am I doing something important on my phone? maybe. Am I conversing with a friend? probably. Do my children know that they are still the most important thing in my life? I don't think so. Not when my phone is always around. Not when I don't look at them while they are talking to me. Not when they don't know what I'm doing on my phone, but it must be important since I'm always looking at it.
Hmmmm, do I need to throw my phone away? No. But when I sit down and have a big long talk with my girls about active listening, I have to ask myself 'Am I actively listening to others? Or have my children gained their poor listening and poor communication skills from a lifetime of watching me?'
Food for thought tonight. It is pretty funny how a year and a half ago, before I got my first smart phone, this never would have even been an issue. My phone had no value then other than talking and reading a text here and there.
Now, I have to learn how to break all of the bad habits - and protect my family.
8.02.2015
Expectations
Sometimes the Lord brews something in my spirit for a really long time. I feel like he is wanting me to write about it but time and life keep it at bay because I am not given the opportunity to sit and explore his leading. And then as I wait - days, weeks, sometimes months - to speak what I feel he is calling me to, I am reminded that this word is for me and my life, and sharing it with others is a by-product, or an added bonus.
It has been years in the making that God has been refining my spirit to teach me something I just didn't want to be teachable in. [This morning Aaron said "honey, you might need to have a teachable spirit in this" and I replied "but I don't WANT to have a teachable spirit in this...] Aren't we all a little like that sometimes? I'm pretty sure it has been years that my husband and my mom have been saying this exact same thing. But it was a few months ago that it hit me in a most unique way.
A good friend offered to take our family pictures. And the week before was crazy, but in the back of my mind I had our outfit plans running around my mind. I wanted us to coordinate and look so awesome; "wall perfect". You know the Pinterest pictures with families that match and smile and just look like they could be in a issue of Better Homes & Gardens...
But it was the night before and I had told my girls "This is one of the few days of the year that I require you to wear what I pick out." and they were okay with that (strangely). And as the children slept and I lamented whether or not the clothes really matched and I looked around my house it hit me - this is not us.
We don't match, ever. My girls cycle through the same few dresses every day. Their hairs aren't always in place, their smiles aren't always perfect. And I am not raising models.
I decided at that point that all I really wanted were pictures that reflected who we really were. A mismatched, a little bit messy, and very happy family. My expectations instantly changed that family pictures would involve laughing, smiling, enjoying ourselves and each other and capturing the way we live our lives. My biggest goal was that my children enjoyed family pictures.
And that was how the door to my heart was opened on my expectations. As I have let the thought simmer inside my soul for these past several weeks it has slowly been turning over page after page of areas where my expectations have dampened and even ruined an experience.
As I cleaned out a cabinet yesterday I found a piece of paper from when Z was just turned 1 and I had recently miscarried Isaiah. It listed out what I was doing in a day, and what I expected I should be able to do. Whoa - I tell you. Right now I am not doing a single one of those "expectations" and am not even accomplishing some of the day to day things from that list. Talk about lowering your expectations!
As I have been learning to let go of my expectations, I have had to learn to trust in God's plan in all of this. My loss of expectations have left me wondering what am I supposed to do? In the past, I have been a jump in with two feet kind of a girl, an over committer, a great idea let's do it - but I am learning that my timing, my ideas, my expectations can set me up for failure (or feeling like a failure). But resting in God's timing, his ideas and focusing on his next step and plan has never left me failing but always soaring.
Every day is a step in letting go of my expectations of the day. A long long time ago - like before I met Aaron - I read Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Even then the Lord was talking to me about my expectations. I can plan my course, but in the end God still determines how it may come to be. In the end, God's plan and purposes will be accomplished.
God is still speaking and brewing this in me. I still have so much to understand in this whole area and I know that my words may seem like they are lacking a little bit. I know that, I'm still trying to figure all of this out as well.
Anyone else feel like their expectations have hurt a moment rather than helped it?
It has been years in the making that God has been refining my spirit to teach me something I just didn't want to be teachable in. [This morning Aaron said "honey, you might need to have a teachable spirit in this" and I replied "but I don't WANT to have a teachable spirit in this...] Aren't we all a little like that sometimes? I'm pretty sure it has been years that my husband and my mom have been saying this exact same thing. But it was a few months ago that it hit me in a most unique way.
A good friend offered to take our family pictures. And the week before was crazy, but in the back of my mind I had our outfit plans running around my mind. I wanted us to coordinate and look so awesome; "wall perfect". You know the Pinterest pictures with families that match and smile and just look like they could be in a issue of Better Homes & Gardens...
But it was the night before and I had told my girls "This is one of the few days of the year that I require you to wear what I pick out." and they were okay with that (strangely). And as the children slept and I lamented whether or not the clothes really matched and I looked around my house it hit me - this is not us.
We don't match, ever. My girls cycle through the same few dresses every day. Their hairs aren't always in place, their smiles aren't always perfect. And I am not raising models.
I decided at that point that all I really wanted were pictures that reflected who we really were. A mismatched, a little bit messy, and very happy family. My expectations instantly changed that family pictures would involve laughing, smiling, enjoying ourselves and each other and capturing the way we live our lives. My biggest goal was that my children enjoyed family pictures.
And that was how the door to my heart was opened on my expectations. As I have let the thought simmer inside my soul for these past several weeks it has slowly been turning over page after page of areas where my expectations have dampened and even ruined an experience.
As I cleaned out a cabinet yesterday I found a piece of paper from when Z was just turned 1 and I had recently miscarried Isaiah. It listed out what I was doing in a day, and what I expected I should be able to do. Whoa - I tell you. Right now I am not doing a single one of those "expectations" and am not even accomplishing some of the day to day things from that list. Talk about lowering your expectations!
As I have been learning to let go of my expectations, I have had to learn to trust in God's plan in all of this. My loss of expectations have left me wondering what am I supposed to do? In the past, I have been a jump in with two feet kind of a girl, an over committer, a great idea let's do it - but I am learning that my timing, my ideas, my expectations can set me up for failure (or feeling like a failure). But resting in God's timing, his ideas and focusing on his next step and plan has never left me failing but always soaring.
Every day is a step in letting go of my expectations of the day. A long long time ago - like before I met Aaron - I read Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Even then the Lord was talking to me about my expectations. I can plan my course, but in the end God still determines how it may come to be. In the end, God's plan and purposes will be accomplished.
God is still speaking and brewing this in me. I still have so much to understand in this whole area and I know that my words may seem like they are lacking a little bit. I know that, I'm still trying to figure all of this out as well.
Anyone else feel like their expectations have hurt a moment rather than helped it?
7.24.2015
Mixed Medias and Non-Newtonian Fluids
This was a difficult week. I find it incredibly frustrating that you can have 5 great days and 1 rough one and it feels like you are ready to throw in the towel and that it takes 3 more days to pull yourself out of the rut. It is easy to forget all the good when you are knee deep in muck.
I took today as a rejuvenation day. I didn't worry about the laundry or the dishes, or the miriad of responsibilities I sometimes fail. Today was about enjoying the day and enjoying my kids. We started with crafts outside working with different mediums. We made pictures from pencil, marker, beads, and construction paper. (I don't have pictures because I was making pictures too! When I am trying to operate a camera I spend too much time trying to capture the perfect picture and not enough time experiencing life with my children. A picture or two that captures moments similar to these will spark a lifetime of memories.)
After crafting and playing and messes and a lunch only one child enjoyed... The littles were down for naps, the big was settled with a book. I had about 20 minutes to get half of a project finished and D woke up. Every once in awhile he'll take a great nap, usually I can bank on 45min-1hr followed by 30-40 minutes of hysterical crying. I don't know what it is that wakes him up, or what it is that makes him scream for so long but I wish I did. It is his hard time of day. After the crying ends there is cuddling, rocking, or strollering for another 30 minutes... and then he is ready for a snack. By then Z wakes up... I haven't yet been able to accomplish anything during naptime. And it has become quite clear that we won't be able to use naptime for school time anymore. Although I am presuming the we could possibly still do most of our work in the morning and allow naptime for seatwork...
I am being completely honest when I say that I am nervous about home schooling this year. Kind of like when we first started with Kindergarten and I had a one year old. I just took the plunge and said if it was terrible I could send her at semester to public school. We made it through Kindergarten, and thoroughly enjoyed First Grade. And here we are entering Second, and another new one in the home and the question looms - 'How am I going to do this??' But, we will jump in with both feet and give it a go. My guess is, we'll figure this out too.
After all of our littles were awake today we played with cornstarch and water, a non-Newtonian fluid. Aaron and I were sitting outside with two littles and a big playing with cornstarch and water, throwing it on the concrete and picking it up to see it liquify again... It was so much fun. Again, no pictures. I love participating! I love getting messy and having a good time!
I think that we'll be okay with homeschooling this year as long as I stop caring about absolutely everything else. Anyone want to spend their days doing my laundry and dishes?
I took today as a rejuvenation day. I didn't worry about the laundry or the dishes, or the miriad of responsibilities I sometimes fail. Today was about enjoying the day and enjoying my kids. We started with crafts outside working with different mediums. We made pictures from pencil, marker, beads, and construction paper. (I don't have pictures because I was making pictures too! When I am trying to operate a camera I spend too much time trying to capture the perfect picture and not enough time experiencing life with my children. A picture or two that captures moments similar to these will spark a lifetime of memories.)
After crafting and playing and messes and a lunch only one child enjoyed... The littles were down for naps, the big was settled with a book. I had about 20 minutes to get half of a project finished and D woke up. Every once in awhile he'll take a great nap, usually I can bank on 45min-1hr followed by 30-40 minutes of hysterical crying. I don't know what it is that wakes him up, or what it is that makes him scream for so long but I wish I did. It is his hard time of day. After the crying ends there is cuddling, rocking, or strollering for another 30 minutes... and then he is ready for a snack. By then Z wakes up... I haven't yet been able to accomplish anything during naptime. And it has become quite clear that we won't be able to use naptime for school time anymore. Although I am presuming the we could possibly still do most of our work in the morning and allow naptime for seatwork...
I am being completely honest when I say that I am nervous about home schooling this year. Kind of like when we first started with Kindergarten and I had a one year old. I just took the plunge and said if it was terrible I could send her at semester to public school. We made it through Kindergarten, and thoroughly enjoyed First Grade. And here we are entering Second, and another new one in the home and the question looms - 'How am I going to do this??' But, we will jump in with both feet and give it a go. My guess is, we'll figure this out too.
After all of our littles were awake today we played with cornstarch and water, a non-Newtonian fluid. Aaron and I were sitting outside with two littles and a big playing with cornstarch and water, throwing it on the concrete and picking it up to see it liquify again... It was so much fun. Again, no pictures. I love participating! I love getting messy and having a good time!
I think that we'll be okay with homeschooling this year as long as I stop caring about absolutely everything else. Anyone want to spend their days doing my laundry and dishes?
7.15.2015
In this season....
I struggle so much in this life with doing big, being big. I want to be that person whose ministry is making a difference. I want to make a difference. But these days all I can do is just live. To make it through this day. I can't even organize my thoughts as to what I would do to make a difference, there are just too many needs. And how could I make a difference? I am just one person with no extra time. Actually, I am representative of 5 people with no extra time. (And I just spilled milk on my jeans.) I have to remind myself regularly that I cannot do all things. I must do what I can do; well. Raising my kids. Supporting my husband. Fulfilling our call to expand our family through adoption. Homeschooling. Youth ministry. There it is; my plate is full. I can do those things well right now, with God's help.
I wrote in my daughter's journal this morning that we go through seasons of our lives. There is a season for working, volunteering, creating, but this season right here is for loving and raising these babies. And that is a good thing. It isn't an easy season, it's the kind that earns you time alone when your husband gets home from work because you called him near tears with both toddlers screaming at you; demanding all of you at the exact same time. It is the kind of season that breeds lots of laughter and silly faces and funny games. It is the season when you teach a two year old and a three year old that they have to share, and you teach a seven year old just how valuable and important she is even though her world is overrun with irrational siblings. It is the kind of season when you laugh and you cry; when you change more poopy diapers than you ever thought possible in a 2 hr time span. It is a hard and wonderful season and it may not feel like I'm doing anything big or changing the world, but I am changing their world so that they can do
big too.
I am in a season of multiplication and it is hard but good. Someday, someday... Someday there will be time for sitting and painting and praying and changing the lives of others outside of this tight knit little circle I live in, but not quite yet. A reminder from my devotions today Luke 16:10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”
I can be faithful with these littles right now.
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