But, I've spent my evening pouring over the memorial pictures, with the song He Weeps by Fireflight running through my head.
Appropriate really, although I haven't done much weeping the last few days, just you know, sighing.
My husband and I finally celebrated our birthday tonight. It was especially wonderful since I enjoyed a huge steak, medium rare, a couple of sweet teas, and way too many Texas Roadhouse rolls. It was delicious. (Thank you parents, we appreciated it!)
I feel like I should give you an update on how we're doing. We're doing good? Good is such a strange way to phrase it, but we're not doing bad? I don't know. I guess, we're moving through this.
Aaron and I were talking to night about how God has strengthened us through this, how he may not have given us the miracle of Isaiah living on Earth, but he is working a miracle through the pain of losing Isaiah. (We worded it more eloquently when we were talking about it earlier). Just that we have seen his hand on our entire pregnancy, from the moment of conception and the several weeks we were clueless to his pregnancy - through to even now. Even now.
When I posted the memorial piece yesterday I posted the song Sunshine by JJ Heller - well yesterday I received in the mail from a friend this:
The card read: Sending you some sunshine in the midst of your storm
She sent me a box full of everything yellow, it definitely brought me a lot of sunshine and made my day. Everything was yellow!
Sometimes are really good, sometimes I'm really sad. I'm having an especially difficult time with little boys. I miss not having mine. There was a tiny, newborn baby boy in the waiting area at Texas Roadhouse tonight and I just wanted to snatch him up and take him home. I tried to keep that thought to myself though as I'm sure his mother wouldn't appreciate knowing there was a crazy stalker baby stealer in the restaurant. I restrained myself, I did not steal that woman's super cute baby.
But I wanted to...
okay. okay. not really.
but kind of.
Anyway, here are a few pictures of the last few days - As much as there has been sorrow, I've enjoyed my little girls even more. A loss always punctuates a gain and my sweet girls are a big gain. Treasures I tell them, precious treasures.
This little girl adores her daddy!
How Zemirah manages to smile while being squished by her big sister is beyond me, but she loves it!
This is how I spent my Mother's Day afternoon, tickling my girls and really really laughing. It was a hard day, but I really did enjoy my babies.
Yes, that's a booger on Zemirah's chin; it had apparently dried there during her nap and she wouldn't let me pick it off.
So that is a bit of our lives the past few days. God has been very good to us, he has blessed us immensely and as we heal from the loss of Isaiah we will continue to know and feel his blessings even more.
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