Remembering....

I've been thinking a lot lately.  About many many things - believe me.  But right now I want to write about these things.  These 6 babies and how they infiltrate my life.  How I can't tell the story of my girls or their names without bringing in these 6. 

A few weeks ago we had an open house in celebration of Zemirah's life.  An open house to thank all of those who have prayed for her with us, prayed us through dark days, or carried our load when we just couldn't take another step. 

At that open house I had these balloons - 3 pink, 3 blue; 6 in all for my 6 littlest ones. 

My heart still aches somedays for them.  At the strangest moments, when I'm cuddled up on the couch reading to Am and Z, when I'm holding Z and breathing in her sweet scent, or even just picturing the size of family we will have someday.  We named our girls specifically - that their names would tell their story.  And they do. 

They open the door to share God's miracles and provision in our lives. 

I always wonder what our lives would have been like if miscarriage wasn't such a large part of our story.  Would we still want as many kids?  Would we value them like we do now?  Would we even understand true grief?  I don't know.  We've learned a lot over these years - and I know we have much more to learn. 

And I look forward to the day that we will meet Baby K, Tiny, IddyBiddy, Cinco, Woven, and Bunnin.