Just Say No.

It's Friday and by definition this week is not over yet, but if it were it would have been plenty full just like this. 

I realize some of this weeks problems rest on me.  I should have told a few more people "no" and commited myself to less.  I guess I thought if I was as busy as I could possibly be I wouldn't get sad and I would stay hopeful.  And although I was right on 1 account, I've stayed hopeful, I wore myself out and instead I find myself here on Friday completely incapable of handling the simplest of challenges.

Last night I bemoaned what a terrible wife and mother I am, that I couldn't even complete the simple task of going to the grocery store.  I was just too busy, too tired, too overwhelmed. 

And then last night the unthinkable happened.  I missed an important and very unexpected phone call and I let someone down.  Bad timing all around.  And I can't quite figure out what in the world God is trying to teach me. 

I'm most afraid that he might be trying to tell me that I'm not the Queen Bee...  

I never thought I had tried to do everything for everyone, but this week I did.  This week I needed to rest, let my body recooperate and instead I took on challenges I wasn't ready for, and in consequence I feel depleted, exhausted, and frustrated. 

I want next week to be better but I know that if I don't stop and take care of myself and my family now, next week will be the same mess as this week. 

I wish I could do everything, I really do.  But sadly, I can't.  I can't help everyone, I can't make my daughter not sick, I can't make my dog poop outside instead of on the living room floor, and most of all I can't do everything.  Sometimes I just have to say "no" and be okay with that. 

Lesson [still being] learned.