The same goes for foster parents! Foster families are often times going through similar struggles or even more difficult struggles than adoptive families. They need help and support from their community as well!
Here are 5 ways you can support a foster or adoptive family.
1. Send them a "family night" box.
This could include a movie or game, gift certificates for pizza (enough to feed their whole family), popcorn, and cookies.
2. Call them up and tell them you will be bringing them a meal on ______night.
If someone says "Let me know when I can bring you a meal." My response is going to be "Thanks!" but I'm pretty sure I won't ever call and ask for that meal. Pride can be a hard thing to get over. On the other hand, offering a meal that night at 5pm might mean they've already prepared something else... If you prepare in advance for them or bring them over a freezer meal for later, that goes a long way for making a huge difference for some tired parents.
3. Better yet...set up a meal train for families who have just brought home an adoptive child or are bringing a new foster child into their family! Much like bringing home a new baby (and sometimes dare I say...more difficult?) bringing a new child into your family can be hard on everyone making dinners difficult for several weeks! Help a family out by offering to be the coordinator of a meal train and make sure they are set for a long time!
4. Offer to mow their lawn or shovel their snow! If yardwork isn't your thing offer to wash and fold their laundry or do their dishes! This idea came when I asked the question in a Facebook group I am in for adoptive families. When bringing home a new child it can be so overwhelming and difficult. Relieving an added stress (like yardwork or housework) that takes away from much needed family time would be so welcome to a family. Much like a meal train offering to mow their lawn for a month or two or setting up a laundry service for them for a month or two (or six) would make a huge difference and be very appreciated!
5. Have lots and lots of grace for a newly adoptive family. If they suddenly don't make it to an event where they were expected, most likely they just couldn't come - for their new child and their new family. If they don't want you to hold their child for a long time, respect that. The bonding process is a long one and a two year old born raised in a different environment is not like one raised in your home since birth. Everything is new and unknown, and in that their family is new and unknown. With the instability they have already faced they may wonder just who is the next family they are going to. The newly adoptive family's avoidance of big public events isn't because of you it is for their child. If they don't discipline the way you think they should, understand this new territory. We don't understand our child's history and discipline just simply can't be the same way it would be with a biological child. Lots of grace and lots of patience go a long way to help a family.
Also - check out this great article by No Hands But Ours Three Ways The Church Can Support Adoptive Families
Be Blessed,
Brie
4. Offer to mow their lawn or shovel their snow! If yardwork isn't your thing offer to wash and fold their laundry or do their dishes! This idea came when I asked the question in a Facebook group I am in for adoptive families. When bringing home a new child it can be so overwhelming and difficult. Relieving an added stress (like yardwork or housework) that takes away from much needed family time would be so welcome to a family. Much like a meal train offering to mow their lawn for a month or two or setting up a laundry service for them for a month or two (or six) would make a huge difference and be very appreciated!
5. Have lots and lots of grace for a newly adoptive family. If they suddenly don't make it to an event where they were expected, most likely they just couldn't come - for their new child and their new family. If they don't want you to hold their child for a long time, respect that. The bonding process is a long one and a two year old born raised in a different environment is not like one raised in your home since birth. Everything is new and unknown, and in that their family is new and unknown. With the instability they have already faced they may wonder just who is the next family they are going to. The newly adoptive family's avoidance of big public events isn't because of you it is for their child. If they don't discipline the way you think they should, understand this new territory. We don't understand our child's history and discipline just simply can't be the same way it would be with a biological child. Lots of grace and lots of patience go a long way to help a family.
Also - check out this great article by No Hands But Ours Three Ways The Church Can Support Adoptive Families
Be Blessed,
Brie
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