This month I was hit with a horrendous case of baby fever.
To be completely honest, I think it was sparked by several pregnancy announcements following the new year. Pregnancy announcements I was THRILLED to see! But then I wanted to have one too...
Ah jealousy, you ugly monster.
One of my newly pregnant friends is someone who walked a very similar journey to me and whose baby is a few weeks younger than mine. That one really made me jealous, because if she's pregnant, maybe I can be too!
And as the days went on I silently boosted my own pregnancy desires... I even peed on a pregnancy test when I was most likely ovulating.
Seriously.
But then last week the strangest thing happened. My period, which has been strangely early since Z's birth, didn't appear when I thought it would. Infact, it was almost "late". I say almost because it was technically "on-time".
So, I had very strong cramps last night, and difficulty sleeping becuase all I could think was "Now I hope I'm not pregnant because if I am these cramps can not be a good thing!"
So this morning, when the lovely AF herself had not yet shown up, I peed on a preggo stick, for real this time.
I've never been so happy to see a negative! Seriously, becuase of all the times I've peed on a stick I've wanted it to be positive.
And thus ends my baby fever.
Thinking things all the way through, here are the reasons I'm not ready to be pregnant:
Baby Z is still a baby.
Baby Z still sleeps in my bed.
Baby Z nurses ALL.DAY.LONG. and ALL.NIGHT.LONG.
I'm not sure if I can take Welcome Womb while nursing and I wanted to nurse Z until she was 2.
and I'm sure I could come up with more... but those are good enough reason to be a little more careful next month.
And so we head into the great unknown and continue journeying on our jouney of life, without planning for another baby at the moment.
